[ janellestarr ]

emptiness

2009-06-07T02:28:00.002+08:00

just had an advanced 21st birthday celebration with friends. 13 of them made it. totalling to 14 of us! haha. just my birthday number. how coincidental. it was a good dinner. everyone was tired and stressed out from studying so we had some laughs, enjoyed the food and had good chats. it was a good time for everyone to catch up too. thanks guys. i appreciated it. especially for making time for me during this stressful exam period. a BIG THANK YOU! :) love you guys so much!

somehow, something just feels missing. i can't identify what. but i just feel it. sigh. why?

i'm so tired now. i'm gonna head to bed. goodnight. photos some other time. browse fb.

reminiscing

2009-05-30T20:32:00.002+08:00

i realised i am scared to be alone. i am scared to be left out. i am scared of what others think of me. but why am i so scared? :(

i love the comfort and warmth of home. with family members in close reach and everything within arm's length. i am too comfortable. i may be independent but yet i still have insecurities. i am trying to come to terms with myself and accept myself for who i am. to appreciate my flaws and strengths and not to pursue what is not me. i want to be me. and i want to enjoy being me. why be like others when you can be distinct?

learning to love myself...

stress pill

2009-05-26T19:56:00.002+08:00

give me a stress pill.

i think my body has released too much stress hormones. i feel odd. like everything's not right. i think i gave myself too much pressure that my body refuses to perform now. pfft.

anyways, it's 18days to finals now. i hope i don't die halfway. give me strength.

SUNNYBANK

2009-05-17T14:24:00.002+08:00

i just got back from lunch with stan and his father and some of our other friends. stan's dad's in town so he wanted to have lunch with stan's friends to meet up with them. so it was dim sum at landmark restaurant!

victor, jo and i went to church in the morning before we went to pick daisy up and head over to stan and van's place. mass was pushed 1/2hr later due to winter. so we were kinda running late. stan was pretty worried that we couldn't get a table at the restaurant so he was calling to check (and they couldn't get us a big table till after 1pm) and was getting damn kan chiong! so his dad was asking him to relax and all and that we can always split and yada yada. thankfully sarah managed to find her way (she couldn't initially) and took a number (to wait).

but as we got there, and they noticed how we were dressed, they showed us the way in. impressive. haha.

so there was 10 of us for lunch and we had a really good time. chatting and laughing away. it was kinda like revenge time as stan's dad tamed stan with all the rebuttals. it was really hilarious. a great time i must admit. :) time passed so quickly! we practically had a 4hr long lunch. but we were all enjoying ourselves. and we could see that stan's father was enjoying his time too! haha. with all the entertainment contributed by all of us. indeed a good time.

then we went to yuen's for a quick grab before we headed back since all of us were going to do some studying, van had to meet turts for marketing project and well victor has soccer. oh. and i discovered that someone is in brisbane too. didn't know that. ha. i've seen here around but i wasn't really sure it was her. and now i know. for sure. thanks victor. thanks facebook. but it doesn't really bother me anymore. :) it's just. ohhh...

oh wells. i'm not sure what i'm going to be up to for now. because the eyes are heavy and they tell me they need some shuteye but then i have work to complete i'm not sure what i should do. hmmm....

27days to finals.

:)

2009-05-11T22:27:00.002+08:00

life's been good in brisbane. mid-sem exams are over and now it's 32 more days to my final exams. more studying.

i've got my study plan all worked out and i'm gonna make sure i have that discipline to stick to it. about the next thing i need to do is to push myself to exercise! HA. i've been procrastinating on that bit for a long time.

oh wells. happy belated mothers' day mommy and grandma! i miss you guys very much! just sent out your packages and you should be receiving it by this week if not next monday! been thinking of my mom's mee siam. heh.

had a nice chat with both my grandma and my mom yesterday to wish them happy mothers' day and to catch up on what's been happening in their lives. then i called again today to tell my mom that i've sent out her present and managed to get hold of my dad too! :) i realised how much i missed them and i could sense how much my dad misses me and loves me. despite the financial struggles he may be facing, he still puts my needs before his. perfect fatherly figure. i'm so blessed. my mom always makes sure i'm emotionally stable and tries to crack me up. ahhh... the feeling is simply indescribable. family love.

it's only being far apart that you hold these things close to heart. you treasure them more than ever and it makes you a warmer and more loving person only. thanks for the life lessons.

who am i?

2009-04-25T13:58:00.003+08:00

as the days go by, i'm still discovering who i am. what kind of a person am i and what should i project myself to be?

am i what i truly am? do my actions coincide with my words? i've been pondering a bit and i think i'm beginning to change once more. i don't deny i've become a tad more skeptical and weary of the peeps around me. i think i've become a bit more selfish although at the same time sensitive to people's actions. i have myself guarded but yet i go soft when people are nice.

i don't want to hurt people but yet i want certain things achieved. how should i go about it then? being caught in these situations sometimes gets on your nerves! like... WHAT SHOULD I DO? compromise? give in? put your feet down? be firm? walk away?

learning to be a better person.

emo

2009-04-07T18:27:00.002+08:00

it's been an emotional ride for me. i've always thought i'd do well alone. i guess i'm wrong. i think i'm really really thankful for the group of friends i have here... who have provided lots of support for me. great friends! these are definitely friends worth treasuring and keeping! friends for life man.

but well, it's been an emotional ROLLERCOASTER for me. it's a blend of feelings that stir up inside me. but i'll say i'm still fine and getting along pretty alright. mid exams are around the corner and everyone's busy studying. i really can't wait to have a break.

but well, i've been making great friends! and i love it. i miss my family back home though. really want to go back to singapore in june! haha. miss the fooood. but i'm still surviving. we cook all the time and we usually cook asian food. so it's cool. :)

alrighties. that's about it. just some rants. this blog's dead. boo.

update from brisbane

2009-03-04T21:53:00.003+08:00

well O week is over and this week is the start of school.

I must say I am very blessed to have a bunch of very close Singaporean friends here in Brisbane. They tide me by my emotional moments and they keep me occupied with endless activities. The enjoyment and company is just beyond description. We seriously do not feel too far from home. And I simply enjoy every single moment the half a dozen of us always share.

And then there's Daniel that will always influence us to study and so we've pretty much caught the bug and have begun preparing before lectures and studying ahead of time. Haha. thanks daniel! I think you're really kicking us into shape.

The jokes we hurl at each other, the fun we poke at each other and the places we go, simply make our time here more memorable and enjoyable! I love you guys! Thanks for sticking together. I really hope the bunch of us will stay together throughout our duration here and treasure these moments! :))

First week of school has been smooth sailing. Only lectures and hence more free time and so here I am still blogging though I still haven't prepared for tomorrow's lectures. haha. The 2 lectures I've already had has been alright. One was horrendously boring though. But I pulled through the 2 long torturing hours. :) YEAHH! I will go back to Singapore with flying colours! Or at least I must strive to.

We'll see how things go when the second week of school with all the tutorials fall into place. Haha. I think by then I will start pulling my hair a little. eeks. that's it for now. stay tune guys.

Remember, the updates towards my experiences and time here will be in my other blog. This is a personal one....

Life in Brisbane

2009-03-01T22:55:00.005+08:00

Hey guys, I know many of you have been bugging me to update. However, I think it's only appropriate to separate my personal blog from my down under experience. :)

Hence, I bring you another blog on all the stories of my experiences here in Brisbane.

http://maryanndownunder.blogspot.com
(Best viewed with Google Chrome or Internet Explorer)

May you enjoy reading and catching up on my life. ;)
Missing all you Singaporean friends!

xoxo,
Mary Ann

Farewell Party

2009-02-03T14:05:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since I've updated... And now I'll be leaving for Australia in less than 2 weeks!

Alrighty guys. So I'll be having a farewell party at my place on the 7th of Feb!

Details are as follows:

Time: 9 pm (After dinner - no food will be served)
Theme: Back to School - Traffic Lights (it represents a junction in my life)

Dress Code:
Red - Not Schooling
Yellow - Schooling & Working or Not here not there (if you are almost graduated/graduated/going back to school, pls wear yellow)
Green - currently schooling

Address: 2 Serangoon Terrace (Off Serangoon Ave 1 - a stone's throw from St Gabriel's Secondary School) - nearest MRT: Serangoon. Bus: 158 from Serangoon Central Interchange

Any queries, feel free to text/call me.

xoxo,
GOSSIP GIRL

disappointment

2008-11-17T22:40:00.001+08:00

i feel really disappointed that my aunt is unwilling to even lend me money for my studies in Australia. Well, i can't blame her because in times like this, people tend to get more calculative with their finances, especially when she's an accountant.

However, she has her points too. Nevertheless, this is my dream and i am going to live it. i'm going to prove to her that i can make it and also show to her that i have my other resources to back me. I reckon god is kind to those who are kind... if you really want something, he will find his way to provide. It may not be the best but a good enough option.

Just after my dad and i went to apply for an education loan with citibank this afternoon, i read my email inbox and found a reply from my aunt. It was really disheartening because it will be a further strain for my dad to help pay for my accommodation... and with him doing that, i won't be getting any living expenses. Which translates to me having to work for it. soooo... i was quite sad la. Haven't broken the news to my dad but he more or less knows. Was at my grandma's place just now when my uncle wanted to come. Dad said he has to go off but uncle insisted on coming so made my dad wait.

He asked me how were my preparations for my studies and whether or not my aunty was willing to sponsor. So obviously, no. Told him that we went to apply for an education loan and would most likely be approved by wednesday or so.. and should be able to get the bank draft by the beginning of next week. And then, he voluntarily said he will sponsor my accommodation. Asked how much it is and said it was cheap and added that he will write a cheque for me and pass to me before i leave.

phew. that's one big burden off my shoulders and also my dad's. hahas. god blesses you in his own ways. just believe in him! praise the lord! now my dad will probably be able to help me with some living expenses as well! yay! =)

all that aside, i have been quite stressed out with all these and having to wait patiently for the several parties to reply me. that has caused a partial insomnia.. oh wells, i think i should have better sleep for the week ahead!

meeting chee leng tmr to catch up! would be a good time! miss you babe.

taken aback

2008-11-14T15:32:00.000+08:00

retrieving funds for my studies have not been smooth sailing.
i suppose when you have a pile of money, you never want to part with it.
even if you feel like helping, you still feel the pinch.
can't blame. hard earned cash.

seems like i will have to resort to getting an education loan.
and in fact, i'm pretty satisfied and contented with my dad.
he was the one who supported me to go for the UQ offer.
he said that if I am unable to get financing, he will support me.
After all, this was his plan for me that went through.
Thanks daddy! you're still the one I can rely most on.

Hence, I've been looking out for good deals on loans.
Seems to me that RHB has the best rates.
However, speaking to Citibank may sort my other doubts.
Well, that's the plan for now. Until I can convince my aunt.
At least if she loans me money, it solves my worries.
Borrowing from a relative is still better than from a bank.
Saves you the rigidness, inflexibility and most importantly, INTEREST.

I've been rather troubled lately. So many things to handle.
I've still got to worry about the one-month trip.
Well... being the ring leader sometimes isn't easy.
Especially when you're the only one in charge...
And the rest are going to take the lead from you and simply FOLLOW.
I'm accountable for three other siblings and two other persons on the waiting list.
Sounds like a tour agent and tour guide huhh?
Almost like that. Just more related.

However, I can't explain the anxiety and excitement I'm facing.
It's just exhilarating, the thought of the trip.
There are so many things I want to do and see..
And also, to meet leanna in LA! It's an awesome dawsome experience.
Can't wait!

And good news from my dear bf. He's almost landing himself a new job!
YUP! Congrats on that great interview babe!
SONY should be his new company...
Should he accept his offer.. :) Happy for you baby! *huggs&kisses

Ahhh.... my mind's in a whirl.
Busy planning for my trip...
Clearing my house/room before my maid leaves...
Busy preparing for my studies...
OH MY GOD PLEASE HELP ME.
Maybe i've just been slacking too much.
I just need to wake up and organise myself.
I should be fine.
I WILL BE.

:D

more options

2008-11-09T12:49:00.000+08:00

just when i was quite set on studying in melbourne,

more options come my way.

you can count it as a blessing.

solely because i've been offered a place at UQ.

AND here's the catch:

I get 24/48 credits granted.. SOOOO...

time to complete degree = 1.5yrs.

BUT...

university is in BRISBANE, queensland.

AND..

i commence school in FEB.

SO...

I will have to dismiss my plans on going to melbourne,

leave my cousin to study there on her own (she's already accepted her offer)

and be all by myself again.

Pros and Cons

Pros

I will be void of my responsibility to take care of my cousin
I will have more freedome and space
I'm nearer to more and nicer beaches
I need not succumb to sudden visits by my uncle and aunty
I need not wait on their family
I can join Vanessa who will be in UQ next year in the same course
I will finish the degree in only 1.5 years
I have room to do an honours program
I have a chance to do a double degree
Costs are lower

Cons

I will need to pay for my own accomodation
I will be in BRISBANE not MELBOURNE
I will have to get rid of my dream of studying in UNI MELB
I will not have $$ falling on me so easily
I will not get to revisit the fundamentals
I will have to do revision before starting uni
I will need to rush! Cos school starts in Feb

AND SO...

as you can see.. the pros outweigh the cons.

there's not much reason for me to procrastinate and not take this offer right?

PLUS... the cons are pretty much not so important.

I've been nagged at for contemplating and telling them my "grievences"

about the next hurdle would be to speak to my aunt.

the only obstacle in my path would be to finance my studies.

other than that, i'm about all set.

I've been chatting with vanessa regarding my options in brisbane.

And it appears to me that I can find my own enjoyment.

I've got to work out and convince people to get a car.

Then i think living in brisbane will not be as bad.

HAHAHAS. dad's excited so he can come visit and play golf.

AS USUAL la huh. but I think everyone's happy for me.

back to vanessa. she's moving out of her current place.

so that leaves her current place empty.

THAT means..that I can occupy her room.

but then again, I'd have to SEE for myself before committing.

yeah. you can say i'm quite excited already.

i shall leave my excitement at that.

will update again

subjectless

2008-11-05T13:32:00.001+08:00

Obama wins the presidential election!
History is being made for America.
The first black President.
One with a heart.

May God Bless America and its new President.
May he be discerning enough to know right from wrong.
May he guide them in the right path.
And may he be a uniting force between all nations.

Val just emailed me telling me she's keeping her fingers crossed.
hahahas. yeah. she wanted Obama to win.
Just like how she didn't want Bush to win.
And she's really excited to welcome us to her place.
I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun when we're there.
I think anxiety is setting in.
and I think I'm trying too hard to make the trip perfect.
so that nothing of it is being wasted and we make full use of the time.
to totally enjoy ourselves.

Trying too hard kills it sometimes.

And... I'm getting too lazy.
I don't like to work! Pffft.
Or maybe it's just the culture where I work.
Everything is OVERLY competitive.
Backstabbing people, unreasonable people.
BITCHY AND GOSSIPY people (in the wrong ways)
you can't trust anyone of them la.
dog eat dog world.
i'm disgusted.

A week's break has deterred me from going back.
If not for the money, I'd rather NOT WORK. :)

Go abroad to study when you have a bf...
is really a difficult decision to make.
you want to keep the relationship.
but it's not easier to maintain a long-distance r/s.
and it's so hard to leave the person too.
guess it's just a test in life...
a journey I'll have to embark on.
A decision to make.
I hope it turns out well.
We'll make it work yeah? :D

Online shopping really entices.
Gave me several ideas. But I'm not sure if it'll work.
Shopping always make a girl drool and be happy.
That's why there's retail therapy right?
ALL THANKS TO JEAN LAH.
she and her blog shop, started her searching.
ended up showing me...
and now........ i'm hooked.
hahahas. ok lah. not as bad as before.
got to curb my spendings. i'm a good girl.
i must save money. money is hard to earn.
buying unnecessary things is bad.
you have too many clothes already.
stop thinking of shopping.
stop looking at these blogs.
ok i'm psycho-ing myself.
in the process...
don't disturb...

it's been awhile

2008-10-30T11:33:00.000+08:00

i've been getting so lazy to blog.

but i guess since my dear friends in aussie wants to know how i'm doing. then very well.

let's start with the bad news first.

i got rejected by trinity college. :(

reason given was the incompatibility of academic background.

yea. i applied for foundation studies.

so obviously i will be overaged and over qualified.

but i want to get my ass into uni melbourne.

so i think i will have to find another way.

good news,

my cousin got accepted into taylors college.

really happy for her :)

so now they're making arrangements for her.

and that secures my lodging in melbourne.

so now i just need to find myself a place to study.

next,

damn stiff neck and back and migraines have caused be to be homebound..

for the last 3 days. sucks.

but little choice have i. :/

USA is just a month away!

i'm so excited... and time really flies.

my aunt, cousin, cousin, cousin (3 cousins i think)

will also be going. how exciting! :)

aunt pays for theme parks. *i hope.

and some other stuff as well.

and it's really going to be a crowd.

only thing is i dunno how it'll go well with my dad's pockets.

looks like i'll have to find a way out for him.

i'm still planning stuff here and there..

but the whole plan is more or less drawn out.

subject to last min changes of course.

not everything always goes in place when you talk holiday.

oh wells.

that's about it.

ohh. and my uncle gave me a surprising big angpow.

i guess that's what you get when you help with your heart.

saves me a lot of trouble as well. :D

been moody, irritated but yet excited. hahas.

i miss my baby boy.

study hard baby! best of luck for your exams!

at work

2008-10-03T17:39:00.001+08:00

i'm attached to the bugis branch for work at the moment. working here has been pretty alright. in fact, i think i enjoy working here more than working at the wheelock branch. lesser eyes, more freedom and happier culture. hahas. and it's just 3 people working all the time - me inclusive. simply love it. hahas.

and guess what? sales isn't that bad after all. although they have warned me that sales here isn't very good but for the duration that i've been here, sales has been good. hahahs. maybe it's just ME! :) nahs just kidding. the weekend's approaching that's probably why.

you can never catch me blogging at work if i was at wheelock man. hahas. so you can imagine how slack the supervision is here. yeahhh. anyways, anthony came by bugis yesterday and i told him of my intention to work at the it show. so might just be working for the it show just before i leave in november. but still have to SEE HOW, as what anthony said. i'm quite halfhearted also la. i wanna spend more time with my bf before i leave since i will be away for one month. but then i want to earn extra cash. but then again, i won't get the money till december which will be too late cos i won't get to spend it in the us. but then again again, i get to have some money when i return. hahahas. so many pros and cons. we'll SEE HOW then.

ok i'm just cocking. i think i should get back to work SERIOUSLY. baby's picking me tonight! YAYY! haven't seen him since... wednesday. hahas. not very long but i miss him so much. *muacks. love you babes.

oh yeah. on wednesday, dad brought us to safra toa payoh where they rented the place and sold winter wear. bought TWO winter jackets for really cheap la. one was $49 (but it's men's cut and a tad too big for the not so petite me) and the other was $69! where can you get winter jackets for that cheap? they all cost at least $100 at the regular retail store! hahahs. we were all very satisfied with our purchase. Oh.. bought ski gloves and winter socks as well. i wanted to buy this red beanie but ended up not buying since mum said to look elsewhere. there will be tonnes of those around which is true. i intend to get more stuff at cosco in the states. hahas. will have loads of time to do that before the parents arrive and we go skiing and snowboarding anyways.

dad was like scolding me for buying two jackets. hahas. like i needed two... but then i loved them both and i don't wanna keep wearing the same one all the time. so yeah. since you can't decide and love them both, get both. after all... for the price i paid for two, you probably can get only one at the retail outlets. :) still happy.

ok enough.

gotta go now.

boring!

2008-09-18T14:23:00.000+08:00

i guess my blog has become so boring..

that i myself am bored of blogging. hahahas.

note: i din say my "life"

life at work is no doubt boring.

same shit different day.

BUT.. you meet different people..

and you talk rubbish with your colleagues.

so yeah. it sorta brightens up your not so exciting life already.

i love my team mates at work.

although they complain we talk a lot..

we still do our work ok.

oh wells.. it's disturbing to hear what others say.

but that's fine. deal with it.

i won't be there for long anyways. hahahas.

i'm already timing my exit.

i don't think i've got a good record anyways.

so many days of mc already.

NOT THAT I CAN HELP IT!

oh yeah. you're probably wondering why i'm blogging at this hour.

DUH! i din go to work.

cos i've got food poisoning.

whatever food goes in, comes out after. sucks.

my ass burns from the shitting.

anyhow,

i'm not feeling in my best of moods.

just felt i was blamed for something that's not my fault.

won't say much. just feel maligned.

just hope this phase just fades away.

i want the old me back.

actually, life's quite boring now.

not many friends... not many activities.

it's just work and home and bf and home and tuition.

but of cos thank god for the bf...

without him i think life would be far worse!

nothing much to add.

that's how plain my life has become.

oh oh... pulau hantu sailing expedition was a fine trip!

=) i think the juniors did a fantastic job!

way to go guys!

wait till i get back my memory card then i'll post photos.

till then...

happy happy!

2008-09-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

it's been ages since i've last updated.

i know i know...

anyways, i've been sick and so busy with work.

so yeah. you bet i've been lazy to update.

well couple of things..

i'm so happy kris called me today!

and i talked to sarah online last night

and leanna this morning! YAYY

i miss them so much already.

although the 3 of them are closer to each other..

i still feel close to them! haha. i love you guys man!

another thing is going overseas to study.

i spoke to my aunt about it already

she have intentions of sponsoring my studies..

she told me first before i could even ask her.

but when i sent her the costs... i think she freaked out.

cos it's too expensive and she told me it's way over her budget.

it popped my balloon no doubt.

but i thought i'd press on.

i asked her what her budget was but she din reply me.

i took it as a sign that she was reconsidering.

and i guess i was right! she is reconsidering.

i told her i'd do anything for it.

and that means taking a loan from her or the bank,

and repaying after graduation, i'd do it!

well she said she'll pray over it at her pilgrimage..

so we'll see how things go next week!

gotta wait for her to come back and discuss again.

it's always been my dream to study in the US.

talk about studying in aus.. and i'm not so interested.

but i guess if that's my only choice then i think i've no choice.

if she really doesn't wish to even lend me money,

then i think i'll be stuck in sunny singapore. :(

it's good that i won't have to leave my bf and family..

but then i will never be able to live my dream. sigh.

oh wells. a lot has been going through my mind.

and i'm finalizing details for my US trip this dec.

and also figuring out what i need for admissions.

ahhh.. i want my bf!

nothing really much going on in my life.

just the usual mundane work and living life...

but i'm glad i still have my bf for company! yay!

he really makes my day. we've been enjoying each other.

right baby? :) love him to bits.

he's going to be so difficult to leave behind...

ahh enough blogging. so bored. gotta go give tuition now.

first day at work

2008-08-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

so today was my first day at work.
signed the contract and done with orientation.
so my experience...

it's training day today with 4 others.
and i think i already dislike one?
haha. this biatch. he was so eager.
i swear you would just roll your eyes like i did.
he was excessively excited and overly enthusiastic.
it was like... dude. keep your feet grounded! it's only day 1!

i can't wait for the day he gives up and waves the white flag.
and that disappointed face on his look will be totally satisfying.
i know i'm mean but he's really annoying.
it's like he's so excited about the products and can't wait to learn.
it's much like a party pooper.
alright. maybe because i know what it's like and what to expect..
and i seriously think he's way over enthusiastic about the job.

but anyhow, sort of ganged up with this other guy.
and we totally understood how that guy was just way over.
so yeah. i think i got off on a good start.
this other girl... she's a lil bit like a dumb chink.
note: i didn't say blonde cos she's not fit to be one.
i wonder if she's acting innocent or if she really is.
like seriously. what a primary sch kid would know she doesn't!
like the simplest of knowledge went by her without her noticing.
basically she's quite dumb. i wonder how long she'll last.
oh yeah. everyone's a full-timer.

the other girl was alright. she's humble and quite fun.
i guess it is due to her roots. party people and warm. :)
i like her. she doesn't overdo things...
especially on the first day!

so training was a lil dry and boring.
we went over the product specs for the ipods.
kinda exhaustive but not quite the full depth.
knocked me out tired because i already had that product knowledge.
so it was really a terrible day if not for some laughter here and there.
saw corey and johnson and well, it's heartwarming knowing someone around.
and i miss how we're like family at the it shows!
realised those who used to work in the store weren't there anymore.
kinda stinks when you work somewhere not knowing anyone.
but still, thankfully, the people are younger and i suppose should be more fun.
except for some weird ones that i don't know why they got employed.

ok i think i was being really mean.
i could have exaggerated things a lil.
but well... i needed to bitch and rant so there that was.

met babes for dinner in town after work, shopped a lil and went home.
was really tired. my feet! they hurt! and i haven't started standing the whole day yet.
oh wells. another boring day tmr! just more work!
and i may meet jean for lunch tmr! yayy!
and wala wala at night! YAYYY!
goodnights!

hellohello

2008-08-06T14:44:00.001+08:00

hello hello!
i should start updating before my perth friends start yelling at me.

nothing much has been happening.
i went running last night with jk.
and i think it wasn't quite running.
since i gave up halfway!
i suck man. haha. that's what obesity does to you.
but i'll snap out of it quick.

omg! it's less than a week to leanna's departure!
it's already almost a month since kris and sarah left!
i told them time would have flown and it did!
oh yeah. and i've booked my flights!
oh how i wish i was going to study..
so all my friends can come send me off..
but nahhs. i'm just going for a month's holiday.
perfecto still. :D

i'm in the midst of planning my trip.
i don't want to waste my one month.
so i've been doing some research..
finding out what there is to do in SFO and LAX!
awesome loads of things in LA.
may shorten my time in SFO.
after all will spend most of my time there the last 10 days..
when my parents arrive.

discussed with my dad and we came up with this plan.
first and original plan:
1) 21st jan: rent car, drive to sacramento, el dorado hills straight away, stay the night at aunty's place
2) 22nd dec: drive to tahoe, sightsee, stay the night
3) 23rd dec: skiing, snowboarding, etc, stay the night
4) 24th dec: return for xmas celebration
5) 25th dec: xmas mass and time with the family
6) 26th dec: drive to yosemite national park, stay the night
7) 27th dec: sightsee around the park and leave for sac
8) 28th dec: SFO
9) 29th dec - departure: spend time with family in sac or whatever

plan no. 2
1) 21st dec: rent car, drive to sacremento, el dorado hills, aunt's place straight away
2) 22nd dec: sleep in and shop around sacramento
3) 23rd dec: go to tahoe, ski, sightsee, stay the night
4) 24th dec: ski, snowboard, etc, sightsee, back to sac for xmas celebrations
5) 25th dec: xmas mass, spend time with family
6) 26th dec: go to yosemite national park, stay the night
7) 27th dec: sightsee, stay the night
8) 28th dec: back to sacramento, spend time with family
9) 30th dec - departure: monterey bay and SFO
*there was another plan that was just a slight variation to this and a lil too lazy to type it all out.

plan no. 3 and probably the final one
1) 21st dec: rent car upon arrival, stay over at val's or motel in SFO
2) 22nd dec: hang around SFO, do shopping and sightseeing
3) 23rd dec: drive to monterey bay, sight seeing, stay the night
4) 24th dec: drive to wine country, napa valley, to buy wine and sightsee then drive to el dorado hills for xmas celebrations
5) 25th dec: xmas mass and time with the family
6) 26th dec: drive to tahoe, sight see, ski, stay the night
7) 27th dec: skiing, snowboarding, etc, drive to reno for lobster buffet and carson city, stay the night
8) 28th dec: drive to yosemite national park, stay the night
9) 29th dec: sight see around the park then drive back to sac
10) 30th - departure: spend time with family (31st - new year countdown and countdown to parents' 25th wedding anniversary!)

oh yeah. haven't mentioned...
my bros and i leave on the 1st of december.
while my parents leave on the 21st.
we both arrive on the day of our departure in SFO
and we leave together on the 1st of jan..
arriving 3rd jan midnight/early morning singapore time.

i'm pretty psyched.
but there's really lots of planning and working hard.
i so need to earn money to that i can spend there!
just realised all the attractions and commuting may cost us a lot.
so i guess as a big sister, it's time for me to be more hardworking.

anyhows, i've yet to speak to my aunt about sponsoring my studies.
i don't know how to break the news to her..
i'm still waiting for the appropriate time.
i figured it's too soon from the last time i've talked to her.
i think i should work for a month or two and speak to her again.
that way after working for awhile, i should have decided...
and then with my US trip to reinforce my decision, i think i'm all set.
it's gonna be a lot of money! but i wish to go!
it's my dream! :( ok we'll see how it works out.
set my mind to it....

oh yeah!
just on monday night.
picked amanda up last minute after i already left the house...
and headed over to leanna's.
figured.. since i've got the car and i may not get to meet her much before she leaves,
why not just pop by her place since she was home.
so we hung out for a bit! and she called sarah/kris! so we chat for a bit.
and then later picked nick cheng up for supper at jalan kayu!
yayy! and i think it was a fruitful session.
helping nick with his problems by giving suggestions and hearing him out.
and just having fun chit chatting and recollecting the old times!
it was a fabulous time.
hahahas. i bet kris and sarah were just drooling on the other end.
TOO BAD! BLEAH.

i'm currently at jk's place while he's at work.
oh how common it has become.
i've been reading up lonely planet.
and also reading emails and shit. *yawns.
waiting for amanda to finish her driving lesson.
could just meet up with her after this.
i am bored. now. lazy. aching. stupid run. pffft.

lalalaalalla. nothing exciting lahhh. bye.

a whirl

2008-07-26T01:44:00.000+08:00

my mind is all over the place. it's a mess!
i seriously need to get it fixed.
sigh. i think that's what's causing the insomniac signs.
i toss and turn at night
and it takes me hours to get to sleep
it's annoying really.
because I AM TIRED
and i need rest.

jeez
but i'm thinking about studying in the US
how to get money from my aunt
how to convince my dad
how to deal with my bf
how to cope if i'm there
how'd i live
what should i study
where should i study
so many many things.

and then there's kris and sarah in perth
leanna leaving for LA
jean studying at uni buffalo at SIM
and i'm here. still lost.

please point me in the right direction.

work's starting next week full time at epicentre
just let me concentrate on making money first
for the US TRIP! YESSA!

achievement

2008-07-19T17:54:00.001+08:00

i think i deserve an applause for actually getting down to write my vocab words on a piece of paper. found the show cards a lil difficult to study. yup. that's for SATs.

i'm not actually sure i'll take it or require it but what the heck. i'll just study it and perhaps just waste the money and take the exam even if i don't need it. :)

anyhow, i've been at jk's place the whole afternoon. his mom and dad left the house at about 4ish, leaving me silence and serenity! it's an awesome room, his is. perfect for studying. and really cosy for bumming too. suits me perfectly! haha.

i've just showered and am thinking of leaving the house to northpoint to collect my popular card and get some more stationery (i think i have an obsession with it, besides magazines). yup! i'm quite bored and i need a job.

WHAT A PROCRASTINATOR I AM. BOO!

excitement

2008-07-15T12:19:00.002+08:00

just on saturday, had a great time with my aunt/godma
met up for lunch at marche, vivocity
then walked around for a bit.
before chilling at starbucks
talked the whole time we met up
and really learnt so much more about her
i felt like a terrible niece/goddaughter
i've never spent her birthday with her all these years
so i thought i should stop procrastinating and get down to it
and i'm so glad i did...
i sensed her loneliness and her desire for company.
but no doubt she's blessed. :)

of course we talked about my plans for the future
though there was no definite confirmation
it was almost certain she dropped hints of sponsoring my studies
she knew my parents couldn't afford to send me overseas to study
and there was practically no hope for me in the local unis..
and private unis are just not good enough
so she wants me to think about what i really want to do
and also think about what kind of BASIC degree i want to do
because she feels strongly that i should at least have a basic degree
that way i will always have something to fall back on in times of difficulties
and she's more afraid of me wasting my time and effort and money
should i continue to be fickle-minded.
and i guess i also want to be sure because i really don't wanna waste my time
so i'm just exploring my strengths and weaknesses
likes and dislikes so i make an informed choice

i'm really thinking about doing community college in the states.
and then progress on to a 4-yr uni to complete the last two years.
duration works out to be the same
but opportunities are different.
because of my sucky grades at poly, chances of getting into a gd 4-year uni are bleek
so i'm better off at community college, trying out my very last chance
to get myself into my dream college. :) UC BERKELEY!

oh wells. i'm still pondering about it.
of course there are things holding me back
the comfort of my home, the love of my family
and of course... my dearest bf and friends!
but i'm sure i'll work it all out...

and i'm so estatic! hahahas.
i finally got my long desired i780!
YEAH! daddy got a new line on starhub for one of his employees.
so that means i get to tag on and buy a new phone..
or else he'll just a free phone. hahas. YAYYY!
it cost me $388
but after i sell my old i600.. (it's not that old really)
i should be paying only about $148? or there about.
hahahas. baby wants to buy over my phone! heh.

alrighties. i'm lazy to blog. some other time.
stomach's growling.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!
you're the BEST DADDY in this world!
LOVE YOU TO BITS!
please don't drink too much!
because i still need you...

HANCOCK

2008-07-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

HANCOCK!! (Hand to the cock! - ooops)
i would really recommend this movie!
it's awesome. i'll shoot anyone that says it's crap.
there's so many cool parts..
like how the two super heroes exist in pairs..
it's like the 12 disciples that God sent to the ends of the world..
after jesus was crucified and rose to heaven.

It's amazing!
and how they're not supposed to be together..
those there is an attraction between them...
and their mission is to save the world and make it a better place.
very beautiful.
it's not your boring old superhero movie.
this one is with MEANING.

absolutely loved every part of it.
the humour is great too.
well some Singaporeans don't get certain parts.
and also considering that i watched it at heartland Bishan. =/
but it was a good enough audience i reckon.
still really contented with the movie.

and i'm really more satisfied now that i've gotten something off my chest.
now that's for me to know and for you to find out. *winks.
it's always good to speak up and let off the steam.
the frustration has simmered a lil...
but the action that follows is what constitutes the full recovery.

anyhows, i've really been thinking about my future...
and i really want to get into fashion.
have a couple of ideas in my head but i haven't exactly penned it down.
and i'm still thinking whether or not i should study..
and i've thought harder about it.
no point going on studying something so general.
since i have such strong interest in fashion...
but i know i'm no designer... then why not fashion merchandising?
since i have an apt for business and an interest for fashion.
it seems like good chemistry. :)

i've been doing some research on the fashion schools available.
you bet i don't wanna be studying in singapore for such an industry.
my best bet would be NYC. But then again...
I'm more comfortable being in SFO since I have family there.
With Val within SFO and my aunt and uncle just a few hours drive away..
You can't blame me..
But then again, the finances are what's holding me back.
Really have to think hard about that.

Oh wells.
Baby, I love you. From the bottom of my heart.
You are truly a great boyfriend.
Absolutely boyfriend material.

anger

2008-06-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

FUCK FUCK FUCK
I'm so filled with ANGST.
and i totally HATE IT.
I don't like being an angry person!
ARGGGGHS!

frustration

2008-06-28T16:32:00.000+08:00

anger simmers but the frustration lingers...
what a spiteful heart. it just keeps piercing.

about to get ready to go out and get eugenie a present.
it's her birthday today and we're going to her chalet this evening.
tried to look for a nice notebook yesterday but couldn't find a decent one.
well there were decent ones but not good enough.
since it's a birthday present, it must be special, i believe.

oh wells. i don't feel like getting a job. *pouts.

emotional

2008-06-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

i went swimming with my cousin Melissa today. went for dinner with her and her parents after that at long beach. wasn't exactly a very pleasant dinner. with her father making certain comments. her mom was fine just a lil strange with her gift giving.

and i got really pissed with my uncle for making a comment which i choose to to comment about. it really got on my nerves and i just told him off and he quickly changed the subject.

but really, im affected now because of my cousin. i feel sad for her... i would be so troubled if i were in her position. she's really squashed like a hamburger. her parents are just... a mistake. and she's so emotional and always keeping things to herself.. that makes it all worse. really. it's saddening. i really don't know how else i can help her. oh wells.

i shall leave things at that. why get affected? be happy. be thankful i'm blessed with such great parents. although her father and my father came from the same mother, apart from the brains, they're really different. my dad's more open and accepting while her dad is a plain CHAUVANIST. can't be help with his remarks. it comes with his character and personality. it's a package my dears.

shall just shrug it off. adios.

Home Sweet Home

2008-06-23T16:23:00.000+08:00

Home Sweet Home!
I'm back in Singapore.

First thing out of the gate,
Where's my boyfriend?
Second thing out of the airport,
SO HOT AND HUMID!

Oh how i miss the weather down under.
It's cold and windy!
PERFECT!

Well, but i'm glad i'm back home in one piece.
Miss my family and my boyfriend.
And I must say i'm really so blessed!
I have such great family!
Miss my parents so much! =)

and i've concluded, aus is great.
but i may not want to study there.
the shops close too early...
the people... well. they're fine. just not great.
and it's getting too familiar. haha.

i'm glad i'm home.

sea world and elephant rock

2008-06-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

in the past two days, i've been to two places.
sunday: elephant's rock on currimbin beach
monday: sea world

we went to elephant's rock with aunty molly's friends, thelma and her husband dave. they suggested going there for lunch. i swear we had rather unpleasant moments but i really wouldn't wanna talk about it in fear of reliving such embarrassment and ugliness.

anyhow, it is a beautiful place. absolutely one of the better beaches in gold coast. we passed by another beach that was already very beautiful... that was burleigh heads. plenty of surfers though it's winter. lunch was awesome - foodwise. the scenery was also great. so was the temperature and the weather. loved it very much.

we also went to visit dave and thelma's property in the valley. it was a huge natural property and was great for retirement. it was a rather nice and humble crib. it's not built on yet... though they've owned it for 7 years already.

right after that was time for mass. we drove back to near pacific fair, fairway drive for the evening mass. it feels odd.. because in singapore at 6pm, it's still bright and sometimes sunny. so if we attend evening mass, it's perfectly fine and still really warm. however in aussie, it's so different! well also because it's winter now. it gets dark by 5pm... so it's a really new experience for me. hahahas. felt like i was going to church at 8pm at night kinda thing. mass was short and sweet. keeping to the 1 hr mark. a new experience again. the way aussies do their masses but still very catholic. :) the universal church.

sea world was fine. sesame street was awesome. sad thing we din get pictures with the characters. would have been lovely and good for momento. but it's all good. bought several gifts for myself and for some others. had to get that dolphin for myself for only ten bucks. hahaas. absolutely gorgeous.

i wasn't feeling too good today. didn't take ANY of the rides AT ALL. hahahas. kinda wasted huh? yea. you're right. i din quite enjoy myself today. i was so lethargic.. lack of sleep kills the mood and moment. sad huhh. oh wells. i should get to sleep a lil earlier.

photo comes in next entry. cheerios!
i miss my baby boy =(

Photo Post (Aussie Xperience)

2008-06-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

can't live without toys!

total enjoyment!

voila! movie world!
it's evidence!

sending a chill down your spine!

back to the 18th century!
i wish i was sitting on a barrel of beer

a family photo with batman & robin

wet from wild west falls!

loving the cousin love

too bad it's blur but it's looney tunes world!

a pretty neat photo! =)

Aussie Land!

2008-06-14T22:03:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday today and greetings from the Gold Coast, Australia. The weather has been fine but it's especially colder today. Winds up to 40km/h. And it's COLD WIND. hahaha. But i've been loving it and enjoying. Something different from hot and sticky Singapore.

Went to Movie World today and enjoyed myself A LOT! SHITTED IN MY PANTS. not literally of course but almost to that extent. The rides were indeed thrilling and I challenged myself to take most of them. All except Batwings which Melissa, my cousin, didn't attempt as well. She has been trying to gain enough courage over the past 3 years but tend to chicken out when we arrive.

But anyhow, here are some photos as a picture paints a thousand words. I think one of my greatest achievements is going on the Lethal Weapon. I recall at 12 years old when I was there, only my father took the ride because my brothers and I were too scared to go on. Imagine as a kid, your legs suspended and you fear roller coasters. My dad was so proud of his courage that he bought a mug as a mark of his achievement. Hence, I told myself I really had to prove to him I wasn't CHICKEN. Hey I'm a dragon man. I'm FIERCE. and yes! I've achieved it!

About my favourites, I'd have 2. The Superman Escape and the Wild West Falls. Superman Escape was the most thrilling. With a coaster that has such a steep plunge, I swear it feels like jumping off a tall building LITERALLY! It was the best! It was so darn fast i tell you! My heart sped out of my mouth for a 1000 miles before returning when the coaster ride ended. Watch the video!

The Wild West Falls has always been my favourite. Anticipating the big drop and getting WET! Hahahas. I bought a photo of me and melissa in my constipated, scared out of my wits, acting heroic look. it is HILARIOUS. =) Shall scan that in and share with you guys soon.

After that we came back to the apartment and went for dinner at the Gold Coast Shark's Fin and Seafood Restaurant with Aunty Molly's friends and also to celebrate my birthday. Oh.. My uncle gave me a A$100 as a birthday present. :)

For the benefit of those who have absolutely no idea my whereabouts and itinery, I am in Australia for a holiday with my uncle's family in celebration of my birthday. Arrived here yesterday. Intend to visit all 3 worlds and also to wet'n'wild if we have time. We are spending 6 days in gold coast before driving up to Coff Harbour for a stopover at night before driving up to Sydney. FYI, it's close to 1000km to Sydney from Gold Coast. ROAD TRIP BABY! and I'm the designated Navigator. What a responsibility. *shakes head.

Alright enough about my itinery. Been shopping and it's expensive I must say. Several things to buy but not a lot. Have yet to check out Pacific Fair and Harbour Town. I really want to go to Harbour Town but Aunty Molly's friend advised again. Well then again, she's pretty much a rich lady that doesn't quite go for bargains. She buys boots for A$1500. So.. I guess you'd understand. I bought the SUPERMAN T-SHIRT!!! YAYY! one for me and one for my darling boy at home... Miss him HEAPS!!! I LOVE YOU BABY!

Also bought a BATMAN JUMPER (the don't call it jackets here FYI). Also, the call Macs - Mackers and slippers - THONGS. Interesting huhh? Well I already know that from my Aussie friends but just educating those who would be interested on my Aussie Quest. Been enjoying myself despite the much needed tolerance of my aunt and uncle's nonsense occasionally. But it has been good so far! Mel and I have been enjoying ourselves.

Right after dinner we went to walk around a bit without the folks before returning. Visited the video store and rented 4 videos to watch. 3 of which we have to finish by tonight. and it's alright 12 midnight right now. I wonder if we'll get enough sleep! we still have to go to church tomorrow! goodness. Aunty Molly's been a devil! she obviously doesn't want to go to church... So she's been trying to delay and postpone. She says she wants to go to evening mass. But i tell you when evening comes, she comes up with another excuse. The works of Satan in his subtlest of ways. :) EVIL!

It's interesting how the rate the videos here! ahhahas! looking at adult porn in the video stores is an eye opener especially when the folks aren't around. You get to allow your curiosity take the better of you. Haha. It was fun. We rented some stuff to watch. Will fill you in after we've watched.

OK i think i've said enough for one night. I shall start uploading the photos for you guys. Will post this up before I post a photo post. =)

Cheerios peeps. I miss my parents! I haven't contacted them ever since I've landed. And I'm still procrastinating. What a bad habit! ok time to hit the showers soon after I've done uploading.

WHERE'S MY BABY! I finally get a signal to come online and he's not here to talk to me! =( BOO!

LAST DAY OF WORK

2008-05-31T15:53:00.000+08:00

omg. kah soon... how can he do business like that?
was so pissed just now.
gave him a piece of my mind.

well i've officially resigned.
so today is my last day at work.
kah soon has also asked me to leave early..
he doesn't need me today.

so i'm gonna go home..
and get ready to meet the girls tonight!
kris, sarah, leanna, sherlyn, corde, amanda, denise and robyn.
yayy! :) hog's at vivo it shall be.
thank god i drove to work today.
the sky's building up.
getting ready for a stormy day.

got lots more to blog about.
especially that night at dbl o.
oh and graudation as well. :)
look out for the next post...
with PHOTOS!

pft

2008-05-27T11:15:00.001+08:00

i guess the heat cooled off a lil but the sulk still remains. well i did feel guilty when he came in with a pitiful look passing me the slip of paper with my personal email for the company and the passwords for it.

but damn the moment he left, i knew i had to quit. how long can i stay cooped up in the area? i will go mad! i'm not achieving much and i don't like it! hmfh!

i think my blog has become an oh-so-typical ranting space. but i suppose this is a good outlet. hahas. i'm sure it entertains some of my readers as well. :)

ohhhh nooooo! i just remembered that i forgot to bring my passport to work to photocopy and fax it out to diner's travel! omg.... my aunt will kill me. shit. i think i need to try to delay it till tomorrow. dunno can or not. :(

oh wells. andrew just came in telling me about his squabble with kah soon this morning. they were talking about purchasing stock for the next month or so... cos it takes a month for the stock to come in. andrew gave him a dressing down because he clearly had no idea what the market in singapore was like and his planning is F*CKd. he can only plan so far. no further than ONE MONTH. omg. i don't know how he has survived this long in this trade. pfft. what a loser.

ok. enough enough i should get back to work. i'm still thinking of how i should tactfully break the news to him. i've already drafted out my resignation letter. and i'm making this saturday my last day. i'm just selecting the best time to pass the letter to him. :) i don't want him to treat me like dirt the moment he finds out i'm leaving... wanna avoid all the nonsense so i don't want to do it too soon. heh.

frustration

2008-05-26T14:21:00.001+08:00

i have no idea why my blood is boiling ever since i had a longer weekend.

i feel very unhappy with my job... with my boss... and my job scope. i think it's a sign... at church last evening, there was a little voice that told me to leave my job for something better. and to just enjoy the free holiday i'm going to have. is that god's voice?

i don't know. there are opportunities. and about the only person i'd stay for would be raymond. kah soon.... HEADACHE ah. i don't like being instructed by him. he's a useless boss. not the kind of person anyone would wanna work for. he has no plans and he has no time for you. so talking about learning from him and having him to guide you? wait forever! it will never happen.

i feel i need to go out and learn more. learn from people who are more willing to help me and guide me along... and also to an environment which is more condusive for work and more positive. negativity lingers in the air of this vacinity. it sucks. the mood sucks. but the people rock. i've met great people and they're wonderful! we're all caught in the same situation.

over lunch, ee lin was so mad at kah soon, so we talked about it. knowing that she's going to leave at the end of this month, he offered to give her a pay raise to make her stay.. because she knows more about the products than he does. she knows the system better than anyone else here in the shop. omg. you know how much the pay raise was? his exact words to her, "eh ee lin... i pay you 50cents more la. you continue to work for me"

she was stunned! she said.. you pay me $7 or else i don't work. and then he thought for awhile... then he said. ok i pay you $7 but you do for me admin work also. of cos automatically she said no. her value is that little? C'MON! no one knows better about the pro shop system than she does! she has even done the admin work for you, she knows so much more! this is the place where experience isn't an issue. you can know nuts and know damn hell of a lot, but your value is equal. nobody is ever good enough in his eyes. unless you're a nerd that nods at everything he says and become technical with him, then you are smart and a good worker. how silly. you're never appreciated here la.

i'm contemplating when to make my exit. be it the end of this month of the middle of next month before my gold coast trip, i'm booting out. i think i've had enough. and the marketing of the itbike that was passed on to me. i'm sorry i don't think i'm up to it. it's a con job. i can't sell something that i don't believe in... and knowing that it will spoil very quickly for such an expensive thing. I'M NOT DOING IT. so don't waste my time

:) yay. i've had my piece of mind. back to work. the blood's still boiling but it's cooling off. like the mild boil on a gas stove.

to aus or the office?

2008-05-20T16:53:00.000+08:00

my aunty has just offered me to follow them to gold coast for their family holiday. an all paid for trip. but i'm rather dilemmatic about it.... the dates they want to go on... will clash with my birthday! arggghhs. HOW?!?!?!

it is hardly that my birthday falls on a saturday! and now they present me with such a tempting offer. i really dunno how. i'd really love to go! but then again.. to leave my dear baby boy behind on my birthday... ok la. thankfully it's not his birthday. i'll definitely have to turn them down if it's his. my mom scolded me for being stupid if i reject that offer. free holiday she says. hahas.

looks like i will have to find a way to take leave to go with them. :) or :( i dont know...

i'm back!

2008-05-19T16:23:00.000+08:00

a record 5 months of inactivity. HAHA.

now what have i been doing? many have asked.

now i'm asking. "Why haven't you asked me personally?"
this is like one of those "AH-HA!" moments.

anyway, i've been fine (how typical). Well life has been kind to me by providing me a job of passion. Why do i say so? I have landed myself a befitting job - sales & marketing executive - at a sea sports centre. Well which sea sports centre then? NSRCC Sea Sports Centre. If it's beneficial to you, Constant Wind has taken over the operations from SAF Yacht Club for NSRCC Sea Sports Centre but will still continue to be managed by them. So yes, I am working for Constant Wind, specifically for their new set-up.

Now I must say it's an experience worth putting up with. A new set-up would mean relevant experiences. Yes, I would like to set up my own business in future and this would give me an insight to what it would be like. Learning their mistakes would help prevent me from making the same ones in future.

About the experience so far... There are definitely ups and downs just like any other job. I have been learning a lot from both Kah Soon and Raymond (this business is a four-way partnership. Kah Soon is the front man while Raymond is just an investor who does a lil hands-on as he claims it's his passion). Kah Soon is more of an operational guy with little business knowledge. That is why he has seen himself little improvement with his pro shop business for the past 10 years. His success today is because of his previous bosses', Raymond and team, efforts. Throughout the 10 years he has tried to make the business grow, he made little progress without realising his mistakes. One major obstacle was having his wife on board the business. A wife-fearing boss, you can imagine the consequences.

I value the lessons I have learnt so far. Merely by observing the runnings of the business, you will see for yourself what is right and wrong for it to work. Believing in your principles and hearing advice from the people around you, you will know who is helping you and who is drowning you. Thankfully, there isn't much drowning at this workplace.

Raymond has taught me much. I look up to him for his successes. Though I do not know much about his personal background, I have learnt much about his business background. He is one guy you would not wish to offend and would love to be in his good books. It will take you places. Having had about an hour's conversation with him over lunch, I have learnt many lessons in life and also about himself. He is a wonderful businessman with truck loads of experience which many would die for. I see many possibilities with him and this business though some people have been dimming my lights.

Nevertheless, I'm still keeping my hopes up and trying my very best to perform well in this job. It's great to work by the sea, though very inaccessible. Sometimes this job gets too "senang" and you feel bored. However, with the great colleagues I have, it's always a great time. We joke, crap and talk UTTER RUBBISH to keep each other going. With the new venue, new fridge, more drinks and more food to come, I see more hope. Staff welfare has been boosted and i'm sure things will continue to improve with the new partnership.

I'm really looking to see this work and I hope I will continue to be a part of it. Yup. PIONEERS of this new partnership.

So much about my job and loving it...

What's next in my life? yes. my well-known annual party is coming up. next month on the 14th. Due to a restrained budget, I am making this party more exclusive. I'm sorry to say but it's an "invite-only" party. So... If you don't get an invite, it's not so much that I don't like you, more so that you may not fit in due to the company I'm going to have. Fret not, if you really wish to be a part of it, just give me a tinkle and i'll sort it all out.

So what's so special about this year's party? I guarantee SUFFICIENT BOOZE and lots of merry-making. Games and Music will be in sync. However, this is an after-dinner party. SO PLEASE I BEG YOU, DO NOT COME WITH AN EMPTY STOMACH. I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SATISFY YOUR NEEDS.

NEXT...

The Graduation Ceremony is on the 29th of May at 9am. Am I looking forward to it? Yes and No. Yes because it officially marks the end of the dreaded poly life and No because I'm not quite interested to see my classmates. :) But yea, I would love to see some others and catch up with them. Some lecturers too of course.

NEXT...

So what are my plans? With this job and all. It is a full-time job mind you. But I am thinking of leaving the job come year end so that I can have a whole month of holiday in the US! :) YUP! I'll be going to the US in December. Gonna be spending xmas there and I'm planning what to do while I'm there so that it's not a wasted trip. Totally psyched about it! YAYY!

Also, I'm still considering whether I should further my studies or not. If i do, then I will go to the states. But if i don't... then that means I've found a good opportunity and am not letting it slip. I've been doing my research on all the colleges there. Leanna is going there this fall. She'll be going to CSULA and well, she has been trying to get me to join her. I wish to but if I'm going to be studying there, of course I would love to aim higher. So i will most probably heed my uncle's advice and go to a community college, do darn well, then transfer to my dream school. UC Berkeley or Stanford (I realised the tuition is almost the same!) Thing is, I've gotta find a way to finance that degree should I decide to take it up.

Honestly, it has always been my dream to study overseas. I'm not sure how I'll feel years down if i let this opportunity to chase my dream slip. I have no doubt that I have the ability and capability to do well without that degree, though it'll be tougher. However, it's something I want to do in life. Oh well, I think what my dad says is true. Work for a year or two and see how it goes. If this job gives me the opportunity then don't let it slip. Meanwhile, I'm also gaining experience. So if the chances are bleek, then go ahead and chase the paper dream. By then I'll be fretting about finances.

Then again, I will have to learn to cope on my own when I'm there. Dealing with no family (thankfully I've some family somewhere nearby), and no bf :( and a strange environment. Sometimes i'd consider myself independent, but I don't deny an alien land does freak me out considering long periods of time spent there.

Ok, I've been talking too much. Don't blame me, i think that's what 5months does to you. Exams, graduating, bangkok-ing, job-hunting and all that can really drain you. But well, i've more or less settled in and all set to fly! Regrets aside, new challenges ahead. Being positive really helps.

STUDYING FOR SATs! :( back to the basics.
Just realised TOEFL is necessary too. =/
US College Prep Exams cost a lot! :(

strrrrreeesss

2008-01-24T14:16:00.000+08:00

it's yet another month and it's exam time this time.

arghhs.
i just can't get over this morning's maths paper.
maths is a subject i can score at.
but this time.. the light at the end of the tunnel looks very dim. :(

i deserve it la.
last minute studying...
and the paper so tough. :(

i'm still damn sad luhh.
oh wells, gotta mug harder for the rest of the papers.
adios for now. hope it won't take me another month again.
HAHAHA.

new year's eve

2007-12-31T15:31:00.000+08:00

how pathetic! i'm in school on new year's eve. =(

and i haven't had my lunch... my classmates are eating in class and the smell's getting to me!!! ahhhh! HUNGRY.

TAHAN!

arghs. and i don't know whether to stay home later or to go with jk to his company's dinner. =/ mummy and daddy's wedding anniversary tomorrow. arghhs. and he's pissed cos of what i said. honestly, i don't understand why i keep getting irritated very very easily. could be because of the PMS. =/

NVM. FULL-STOP. gotta do project.

another month

2007-12-29T14:55:00.000+08:00

hahahas... it's almost another month

anyhows, it's the hols and i'm in school! like what the hell right. but guess what... just one more month... one more month and i'm through with poly! isn't that great?

for those who are interested to know how my bangkok trip went, it was fabulous! if only we had a week there... perhaps we would have enjoyed it more because it was just too rush! so many things to buy. my mom was so happy and so was everyone of us... i think except my dad other than the beer! hahahas.

because my dad rarely bought anything, he insisted on splurging on dinner. so we had breaky in the hotel, skipped lunch and had a fantabulous dinner every night.

the flight there and back was good. not much turbulence and the pilot was good with the landing. only thing was it was a stupid mistake of the air stewardess not to provide water when my dad asked for it before take off cos my brother had to take his medication. she insisted she couldn't give it to hiim cos he had to pay for it. my dad was so angry because she kind of insulted him, making it seem like he couldn't pay $3 for the bottle of water. what a scare for her. you could see tears welled up in her eyes. poor thing. hahas. my dad's temper... haiyoh.

christmas was a lil different this year. midnight mass was the same... still as grand as ever and as packed as ever. baby came with me to church! heh! so happy! :) love him.

after mass, we usually proceed to kris' place... this year i didn't. my cousins came over. ernest brought pearlyn back and xavier brought his friend gen. hahas. we drank and got high and it was all for the fun of it. hohoho!

i'm so still in the holiday mood. i think this hols just ends too quickly! but it's ok. just one more month. my exams end on the 31st of january with two papers. though that sucks, but that's fine! cos i'll have the whole of feb and well the peace of mind during cny. thats THE BEST! :)

lalala. i should get back to the project first. will blog soon. gotta go back to Poly Marina. we're having a BSC for the SMU students. and TJ is forever as funny and strict. hahahas.

xoxoxo

it's been awhile...

2007-12-07T09:54:00.000+08:00

wow... it's already a month since i've last blogged. i think the projects over the last month was madness but you bet, time passed real fast! it's already december.

mommy asked me, "Do you feel like it's xmas yet?"
i asked her back, "whyyy? do you?"
mommy said, "When i hear christmas songs, i feel it's xmas!"

hahas. how cute right? i love me mom. she's me love.

anyhows, this year i played smart. i bought my candy canes already. last year, i waited till the very last minute (knowing me), and i couldnt find anymore! so all you peeps, do your xmas shopping EARLY! or else you won't have a fruitful one! gagaga.

this year all your gifts shall be from bangkok! hahas. cos i'll be going there from the 18th to the 21st. you can giimme all your wishlists... but i can't promise your wishes will come true. heh. then again, i don't know if i'll be able to get the appropriate gifts from there... and im taking the risk not to buy anything from SG and get them in BKK.

i'm so looking forward to my bangkok trip with my family. it's been awhile since we've gone somewhere on an airplane together. it'll be soooo fun! hahas. my mom and i have been talking about what things to get while we're there and all..

i asked mommy, "mommy, when we buy things there, must buy min 3 pieces to get wholesale price"
mommy, "aiyoh... no problem man, i one person can buy a dozen already, you think the two of us add up don't have 3 pieces meh?"
i answered, "ya... 12 pieces got better discount some more... hahahahahahas. rofl"

don't you just love my mom? hahas. i tell you ah even my dear bf wants to steal my moommy! NO! SHE'S MINE! I'M NOT SHARING! fwahahhaas.

and my mommy's been in such a superb mood lately, i've been spending so much. yes yes. i finally got my sewing machine that i've been waiting for long for! woooot! bought heaps of other things from the akira warehouse sale as well.. and bought lots of clothes from bossini! i think they're latest collection is superb! and it's sooo cheap. sorry guys, brand isnt much of a matter for me anymore. hahahahas. CHEAP is the keyword.

alrighties. time to stop here. will be back. i hope. 1 more week of school to hols! damn it... tmr's the regatta and i'm unwell. how?!?!?!?! i wanna race so badly. =( wish me luck.

fatigue

2007-11-06T00:47:00.000+08:00

goodbye mama! may you have eternal happiness...

thanks to those who showed their concern in one way or another. thanks to those who sent well wishes, to those who visited me at the wake and paid their last respects to my mama, to those who tried to come but got held up and to those who kept my grandma in their prayers. she has finally found her peace.

the last week was a killer for me and i almost died.... irregular meals got me towards the end. the funeral ended... in the usual way. i would like to thank god for the strength he gave me during this period and also for guiding me in selecting the readings for mass and also in writing and saying the eulogy during mass. it was a really touching end.

here's something interesting. the night before my grandma died, her good friend at the nursing home dreamt of her. she was wearing a blue kerbaya and was with a man in white. that man was my grandpa and my mama asked her if what she was wearing was nice... then she asked where my mama was going... then she replied she was going to visit my eldest aunt. and that explains why my cousin's dog was barking so loud that night NON-STOP! and you know what? ironically, my grandma was dressed in a blue kerbaya after she died... and we had no clue about the dream YET until the nurses from the home came to visit.

my cousin actually dreamt of my mama too! but we have no idea what cos this lil boy didnt speak up so we still dont know if it's true or not.

i've been suffering from bad diarrhoeas. most probably the build up of stomach acids from the irregular meals and also the food intake i presume. MST week and i've not studied anything. :( the pros and cons of my mama's passing. but i'm not blaming you mama... i love you k...

oh yea, that just reminds me... last night as i was going upstairs... suddenly the pikachu soft toy went "pika pika". ok don't freak out first. this toy has a sound device inside... however the catch is I DID NOT TOUCH IT! and it sounded when i was like 2m away from it. interesting huh? and yesterday was the 7th day. my mom was suggesting my mama came to visit and played with the toy... also because she loves soft toys anyways. :) and i suppose she knew that we were scared so she didn't want to scare us by making her presence too obvious.

that's enough for now. i'm tired. goodnights.

goodbye mama

2007-10-29T12:35:00.000+08:00

My grandmother has gone home to the lord this morning at abut 5.30am. She has been lifted off all her sufferings that she's been thru the past 1 year or so. Please keep her in your prayers. She is a beautiful lady with a kind heart and she's always so loving to all her children and grandchildren. May she rest in peace and be with god in happiness eternally.

If you wish to pay your last respects, she will be resting at Blk 633 Hougang Ave 8. Should you require directions, feel free to call me.

Thanks.

i love you mama... i will always remember you... i will pray for you... and i will take care of myself...

wasted sleep

2007-10-24T10:37:00.000+08:00

lecture got cancelled but i got no news of it. damn sad. could have slept in longer. danngs. so now i'm just waiting for MR lecture which i cannot afford to skip anymore. :) i shall be a good girl. i made a pact with baby that for every lesson i skip now onwards, i owe him $5. i hope i won't become so poor.

when i told him that... he said that since last time till now i owe him hundreds. basket. cannot be more lenient HUHH. pffft.

wei lu's not going for gems today. so i'm all alone. i think i will cabot after i sign the attendance. muahahaha. cos today is lecture. and nobody cares. i tell you. all the guys just leave after signing the attendance. and he doesnt friggin care. how cool is that. i was telling wei lu... "eh... why don't we just leave.. so tempting right?" that was the lecture before last. however, we were good girls. and wei lu came late. so i din want to waste her trip to class. least she made the effort. well done babe.

i'm still deciding whether to go out with jas and ger later. hahahas. if they crash my gems i don't mind. wait for me to sign attendance and run. muahahahahs. evil eyes.

suddenly, i'm just reminiscing the times spent at poly marina. it's so so memorable. that's the part i'm going to miss most when i leave poly. rarr.... all the overnights. all the shit... all the fun.. all the stress... omg! it's going to end. and i don't want it to. i want to spend more nights with the sailors... talking cock... partying... drinking... getting drunk... cleaning puke. er no. not that. hahas. please take that out. GUYS GROW UP. LEARN TO HOLD YOUR ALCOHOL. i don't enjoy cleaning puke. but yeah. you get the gist. it's all FUNFUNFUN!

did i ever mention that sailing and the sailors was the thing that kept me going in poly? i mean. without it... i think i would have died by now. i would have like wanted to quit school a loong looong time ago. a lot of times i question myself whether i'm heading in the right direction. whether coming to poly was the right thing or not. should i have gone to a jc? where all my friends say i belong? because i know for sure i can study when i want to. i hate all those project works. all the shit you put up with. and mind you, i do learn a lot from it. not that i don't value those experiences but perhaps going to jc... then on to uni is maybe still very much the preferred route. damn it. i'm just uncomfortable because i'm out of my comfort zone. so i'm going to SHUT UP about it. ACCEPT IT IN YOUR FACE MARY ANN JANELLE LEE. NO ONE FORCED YOU TO CHOOSE POLY BUT YOURSELF. SO LIVE WITH IT.

and did i mention i may give college a miss? yeap. i may. or maybe take it part-time as i work. i'm all geared up to start my business. minus the research and the reading up. yeap. and of cos the official networking and learning. i kinda have a rough skeleton of what i want to do. so yeap. and i'm so glad my dad's pretty supportive. i thought he wouldn't be.. just like how my aunt put me down saying that that industry is tough. hell with tough. where's the challenge when it isn't tough. bring it on man. it's my passion. you can't bring me down. lest i bring YOU down. :) but then again, thanks to my ever convincing tongue, i managed to convince my aunt that. HEY! that's what i want to do and you're not going to stop me. i know what it's like and that's exactly what i want to do and where i want to be. and guess what she said? "i'm waiting for your business proposal". isn't so AWESOME?

actually, i must be very thankful for my family. i'm blessed. whenever i need support, i get it. even when they are skeptical... all it takes it's some soft coercing and some love and well, some intelligence. they'll either do it because they're totally convinced or they just love you they want to help you. even if they know you will fail. i'm not saying i'm going to fail cos i'm going to make sure i so won't. :)

damn. that's really a whole shit of ranting early in the morning. oh yes. i'm an afternoon baby. i was born at 2pm and i guess that explains why i'm not a morning person. pffft. heh. i think i must thank that bowl of prawn mee that made me oh-so-absolutely FULL to the brim.

and then again, it's probably the bitch instinct. yeap. it's day 1. fwahahaha. that's enough for now. would love to catch a movie before my next class starts. though fc6 is getting noisy but heck with it. movies rawk my life.... absolutely phenomenally. SMILE. i'm in that mood. xD

baby... i'm with you... by your side.. always supporting you. be strong. i love you.

awesome legs

2007-10-17T15:36:00.000+08:00

i had a blast at yesterday's physical training. it is by far the most satisfactory physical training i have attended. it is only because i have not been training so far and well, it has to be attributed to the fantastic weather yesterday.

honestly, it was wonderful for exercising and it was just motivational for me to well, lose weight and train myself up! so we kept going at a slow pace around the school. for one length of the school, i felt no fatigue (which i usually do and so that's an improvement) but when we started going uphill, damn the exhaustion hit. and my thighs were just killing me (the leftover aches from sunday's physical training). thank god i brought my towel along and i wound it around my hands and bit on it. i knew i had to break through it. i knew i had to get that numbness which you would get by maximising your muscles. and goddamnit, i PULLED THROUGH! freakin achievement man!

so many times i kept feeling like giving up. but seeing all the rest also pushing themselves, i just kept pressing on. my legs were going to collapse i tell you. it was crazy! by the time we got in front of the school of business, the sky was overcast and i knew we werent going to make it on time so i told them to cut through the school instead of running on its perimeters. going uphill again was a mere torture! while we were running in a pack, i knew i couldnt take it no more if i were to continue at that pace, so i sped up and ran the stairs like there was no tomorrow, making jumps so that my thighs don't hurt as much! omg, reaching the peak was like heaven... from that moment, everything was like over! cos it was slow pace, downhill and back to our starting point! PUUUURRRRFECT! we made it! and especially joo ting, who was sick, you were fantastic girl! you never gave up!

after that we continued running one more round of the track while ben and daryl did two. then it was to the gym for some weights. we only have 10mins so it was just enough to do 1 set of twenties. then it was outside the gym to do some static. crunches, balancing, v-hole, buddha claps! weeee... we had so much fun and everyone of us just felt so motivated to do more pt! yeahh! ben also said that at this rate, more people will just join us for training and it's alright to start small. yeah that's the way ben! the optimism.. i like..

PT again this sunday! somehow just can't wait for it. the motivation to exercise and push myself is back! yeahhhhh! determination leads to success! all the way guys! you rawk my life! :)

surprisingly, when i expected my thighs to hurt even more, haha. it's not hurting much! weee. it's like so much better already! yeah. i feel like running later.

excruciating

2007-10-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

well, the medication i've been on isn't the most comfortable kinda medication. it makes my muscles go weak and i just feel so numb. and guess what? the medicine supposedly makes me get gastrics. and there's this other medicine to counter that. but i guess it's not working well enough. pffft.

meeting went pretty well today. lots of events coming up! Sailing Experience Camp and Interaction Camp! yayy! :) more time together with my sailors.

i feel so fat i just want to lose weight. i hope with all the physical trainings back in place, that could help me lose some fair bit of weight. i've been trying to control my diet lately. i hope i can lose weight. i'm so sick of being fat... it makes me feel clumsy and lazy and lousy. i miss my body before. at least i wasn't so fat. and at least i was comfortable with myself and with a lot more confidence.

poor mummy's sick. get well soon mummy! i love you!

that's my mummy! isn't she cool? hahas. i love her!!! she's the best mummy on earth!

anyhows, i think it's about time i got down to thinking about what i want to do after graduation. about time i start to read up and decide on the things i want to do.

honestly, i think i have grown so much ever since entering poly. learning from different people, the vast difference between people from my secondary school and from others, the mentalities, planning and organising events, the independence and emotional rollercoaster, i think it has been an awesome experience. it wasn't always sweet, but it was the sweetest lesson i presume.

these were the growing years of my life. i'm still continuing to learn and i value this experience A LOT. i think it has groomed me to be a more knowledgeable, more understanding, more independent, emotionally stronger person and a better leader. a lot of times i think back and do regret a little not having taken the jc route. but i think if i haven't come to poly, i would never have experienced such a "in-your-face" growing-up experience.

i guess, in life, there are times where you are made to be thrown off-course so that you can learn life's lessons at its best. i really appreciate it. and i want to thank all those people whose lives has crossed paths with mine. if it wasn't for you guys, my life and i would not be what it is today.

then again, looking at all my friends, everyone has changed. be it for the better or worse, they have grown up in their own ways. sometimes it hurts to see how they alienate themselves from you but i guess that's part of growing up. people change and some just become a totally different person who cannot seem to associate themselves with you anymore. and that's where learning to let go comes into play. however, noticing those who have changed for the better, you're so happy for them that you feel like celebrating.. and for those who keep you close to your hearts, you know you've not made the wrong choice in befriending them.

i guess that's enough for today. i wanna watch TV. :)

kinda pissed

2007-10-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

is it that you guys don't care or just don't give a fuck? i wish i could do the same. but i'm not like you guys. i cannot not bother when it's been entrusted to me. don't you think it's utterly irresponsible to shrug your duties? sigh.

sometimes i wonder why i work so hard and bother so much. things could have been so much easier, i could have so much more time to myself. i wouldn't have to slog so hard and work my asses off, burning the midnight oil several times and falling sick and getting into squabbles and spending long hours with our officer trying to get things done for the club. there are so many things that you guys don't see me doing behind the scenes. if you really thing it's so easy like the snap of your fingers, i wouldnt mind letting you take over my position. go ahead. try it out. its not as easy as it seems. i try not to complain, but there's really a limit. i can't handle this on my own ya know.

events.. you guys rush there to enjoy yourselves.. but what about the shit work? who picks them up? who bothers to do the hard work of planning and making sure everything is in place and in order? what about the meetings? you guys RUN AWAY! where were you?!

i don't wanna say some more. i just feel so fed up. at the end, i will still have to keep on going. with or without you guys. i just wish you can hear me. i wish you can do something about your attitudes. NONE OF YOU EVER THOUGHT OF DOING THE JOB YOURSELF. in your minds, it's HE/SHE CAN DO IT. i'll just sit here and WATCH!!!!! don't you think you're so SELFISH?! when everyone slogs their asses off, you just sit there and watch and wait for someone else to do it. why can't YOU! take the shit up and clear it up?! arghhhs.

FUCCCK. stop being so selfish and be more understanding. there's work to be done. don't mix personal with work! GROW UP KIDS.

just for fun

2007-10-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

just for some laughs... this was what happened when i was talking to mel online and wanted to test out my webcam. hahas. it was kinda self entertainment. :)

bored STIFF

2007-10-08T12:19:00.000+08:00

my back is stiff and killing me with pain. =(

i'm stuck at my baby boy's place because of this aching back. it hurts so bad that when i move it hurts. =/ so i cooped myself in his place rather than going to school. i feel bad. nowadays when i skip sch, i just feel guilty. i'm sorry classmates.

arghs. im starting to feel MOOOODY. pfft. and there's nothing much for me to say. just that i feel regret and jealousy. seeing my friends in good universities and some going overseas. arggghs.

nevermind. i'll make it big. i know i will. i wish i was a rich girl...

xoxo,
Mary Ann

BOREDOM

2007-10-04T17:14:00.000+08:00

i'm so bored now i could kill a cat.
ok no. i won't kill a cat...
but i just need something to do.
something that can keep me awake and out of boredom.

i'm in the biz library waiting for my baby to finish work. then i'll go over to SIM to meet him. it's way too early for me to go over now and i don't wanna wait there like an idiot. pfft. yes. at least in SP it feels more "homely" - if it's even homely in the first place. the only thing i like about the library is FREE PRINTING. but the damn printer is DOWN. so that suck balls. =( *sulks.

anyhows, i think the pre menstrual syndrome has hit. considering it's nearly a week more to the BLOODY due date. and i meant it LITERALLY for those dumb asses who can't figure it out. i'm so damn moody right now. chomp on me and i'll bite your head off.

i was just reading rachel's blog. my good friend from my secondary school days (not that she was from the same school as me) and i so agree with her about the stand of jc students on poly students. i totally feel it's really narrow-minded and MYOPIA-suffering(blame their books) for speaking of poly students in that light. i think that by whom they meet they should not generalise the rest of the population. i mean, look at it this way... why are high flyers in secondary school coming to polytechnics these days? not because they scored badly, can't speak good english, can't study, but more like they know what they want and they want it now. what i'd call, go-getters. and mind you, they do make it very well in life and in fact for some, better than those shallow jc students (and i'm not saying all jc students think this way cos my cousin doesn't - and i'm proud of him. way to go!)

it wasn't as though rachel or i couldn't get into a junior college, i think we would still be able to make it to jcs like acjc and sajc had it not been for our decisiveness and our goal-oriented mentalities. we knew what we want and there wasn't a need to spend another 2 years considering what our lives should turn out to be (which is the common excuse for those who choose to go to a jc) and we took charge of our lives - to go to a polytechnic and learn the ropes.

now, about the only difference i would say is the culture of the two types of institutions. there is no doubt that polytechnic students "MAY" be a little weaker linguistically. but that does not make the WHOLE population weak in ENGLISH. because honestly, I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH PERFECTLY FINE and i dare boast i can speak better english than some jc students. (a big question my jc friends ask - why i never went to a jc?) some jc students can't even speak proper english. so i think my dear friend, you're being a lil too myopia-ed to say that jc students are better speakers of the english language. perhaps for your school but that may not apply to the rest.

ok enough of ranting. i think that was could an earful. i went to meet mr kwok today and we had a brief chat. though it was a near 50min discussion. that's short for his meetings. but anyhows, he's giving us the green light for the life vests and it's almost a 99% sure get kinda thing. yayy! all applaude please. he's ok with repairing the broken-bow-ed lasers and replacing items (spars and foils - they're getting too old) and well, the next thing was the wish list. it's the list of things your club wishes to have and they will be thought about at the end of the ear (they get truckloads of budget surpluses - damn these stingy asses) but it's ok because that means we get expensive presents. now all say THANK YOU TO SAA! good people.

i bet you sense the bitchiness, the grumpiness, the moodiness and all the things relating to P-M-S. mmmhmmm. i'm sorry, but the raging hormones cannot be stopped. in fact, a good release would do me, and the people around me, some justice. so i apologise for all these crapiness but please do understand, it's nearing that time of the month. *winks.

i love you peeps, and thank you for your time.
(muahahahas. i sound like i was giving a speech)

photo entry (pulau hantu)

2007-10-03T11:19:00.000+08:00

hey guys, as i've promised, here comes the photos. first it's the photos for the pulau hantu sailing expedition. yeapp! :) i'll post again for the other photos. heh heh. enjoy!

the night before setting off. packing of motivational food.

the silly games they played to keep themselves occupied from boredom at PM.

the next day.. setting off...

wah benjamin so chio!

mary! damn pro!

wah laos this one face so chao! so serious for what!

this was them launching...

these were those out at sea covering safety, bearing the rain!

hahahas. this is the cute cute kian tat.

look at the no. of boats! looks like we're having a regatta!

having fun people? don't pout!

wah! bai pose!

our boats beached up on shore.

it's snakes and ladders time.

our president of the stupid club!!! FANGFANG!

chao keng warriors!

look at the crowd!

the ever beautiful island!

last but not least... our favourite video for the event!

bitch'ed

2007-09-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

i know i said this entry will be photos. i'm sorry but i haven't been home yet. hahas. and i've the urge to blog.

i think today's a shit day. i left jk's place forgetting to take my handphoone and i only realise it when i was on the way to sembawang on the train. got quite irritated and pissed. so i got off at sembawang while baby went to work. told him to call his dad so that there's someone to open the door for me when i get there.

so when i got to khatib, i went to get some food and drinks. and guess what? i spilled the soya bean drink. ugggh. total disaster.. nvm..

got to his place, and then realised that things weren't right. so after i got my phone and left, babes called to ask me to go back to the house and ask his dad to call him. then we realised that kelvin had played truant. he didnt go to school. so we started our search. called his friends, msged him and called him, called his teacher and all that. his dad went out to look for him as well. and finally saw him as he left the school. he was only going to school. he said he went to eat before going to school. danngs.

so i skipped maths class this morning. uggh. i really wanted to go ok! and i rushed like mad for it also. grr... so i stayed at his place and talked to his mom about a hell load of things. i took at 15min nap until which his mom woke me up to have lunch. talked and talked and talked and i was running late. but it was all good. cabbed down to school and was in time for lecture. heh!

kailin called to ask why i wasnt in maths class! hahas. yyayy! got friend in class already! hahas. and i just found out that shikai also in the same class. bleahhs. won't be so boring already! lalala.

hung out with jasmine and ophelia for a bit just now. i've been like uberly moody today. thanks to all the unpleasant things that happened today. and especially the last one. i'm rather pissed. getting banned from CCA DRIVE! we're gonna die next year! how are we going to get recruitments?! HOW?! PEOPLE TELL ME! DID YOU CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR ACTIONS. FUCK. you don't have to be sorry to me. be sorry for yourself and those in the club. you will all suffer together!

anyhows. neverminds. i'm just gonna enjoy the rest of the day. gonna meet shaun at outram park cos he's picking me up from there before we head over to vivo to meet the rest for kris' birthday celebration! woooot. :)

a wail of time

2007-09-24T14:17:00.000+08:00

with the level 2 cancelled,
i had more time on hand.
totally enjoyed my last week of hols.

i'll upload photos in the next entry. but anyhows, here's what happened. went clubbin' on wednesday night with babes, mel and wei qi. went first to dbl o, got bounced cos entry for girls is 20. then cabbed over to zouk! hahas. mambo night! woooot.

we had some drinks though not enough to get me high, it got mel whooping. hahas. she was crazily high i swear she sorta lost herself in the club. (we know what happens with the lights dimmed and the muzik cranking up) i leave that to your imagination.

left with jk back to his place while wei qi sent mel all the way home to sembawang when he lives in HOUGANG. yes. 1) rich. 2) gentleman. hahas. go guess what happened after that. cos i dont know as well. hahas.

well then saturday was a blast! i loved every single bit of it. though the attendance was bad, the company was puuurrrfect! we played ballastic games, totally crazy! we were so so so damn high on all the shit (shaving cream, gel, pomelo and toothpaste) total madness. all the girls were MAD. i had so much fun, i swear i'd do it once again! right girls? *winks.

that night was the BEST. there was only 8 of us left. but hey, that was the best crowd ever, seemed like very few people but we dominated the topper room i swear. we gobbled down the bottle of absolut apeach that i brought. played the circle of death and hell was it fun. i swear they loved it. hahas. and of cos, i was the mastermind. thank me guys. ok. dont thank me for the puke but you can thank me for taking care of you guys and of cos, CLEANING UP AFTER YOU GUYS. eh ophelia? hahas.

i think that was one of the best nights so far. well, at least for the whole holidays. i love you guys so much man! my baby boy, jasmine, geraldine, zhe yang, ophelia, wei lu, wei qi and mel. you guys ended my holidays on the highest note ever. i cant thank you guys enough. *muacks!

rushed off after training yesterday for my brother's confirmation. i still had time to grab something to eat at serangoon gardens market before heading to church. thanks baby for sending me there or else i'd never be able to watch my brother at all. my parents were late and the church was already so packed just 10mins before mass started. the whole event was just heart warming. everyone was kinda dressed up for the event and well, it did bring back lovely memories from my own confirmation. it's like a milestone in a catholic's life. and it's totallly awesome. seeing my youngest brother go through the whole ceremony, being anointed with the chrism, i almost cried. i didn't. i almost did.

after that, took some photos at the altar and of cos, congratulated my brother! yayy! the youngest in the family has been confirmed! hahas. no more cat classes! hahahahas. it was also an opportunity for me to meet up with friends whom i have not met for some time now. all those friends from cat class and all! awww. i miss you guys. catch up soon. oh yes, that reminds me, i'll be meeting some of them tomorrow at vivo for kris' birthday celebration! wooot.

had dinner after the mass at the parish hall. buffet style. not that great. but well, it was alright. hahas. and then i got introduced to my brother's cat class teacher. he's just 2 years older than i am. so interesting. he has his own business and he deferred uni for a year because of all the expansion projects going on in his company. really interesting. i could have got to chat with him more and learn more from him if my parents and brothers didn't distract me with bombarding questions. of i over exaggerated it but they kept asking me things from beside while i was talking to him. i think his name's daryl. hahas.

alrightos. went home right after sending my godbrothers and their mom home. yeap. and then decided to stay home instead of going over to baby's since i couldn't contact him on his cell. lalala.

an eventful holiday which ended with me gaining two certs. first aid and ppcdl. yuuup! now it's on to my ppcdl tests! and yes, i'm quite a happy girl now. almost ecstatic! that's it for now folks. i'm at the cca booth and i think someone's gonna kill me if i don't stop anytime soon. seeya.

lalala

2007-09-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

i've been so jammed packed with activities,
i hardly have time for myself.
im currently at my cousin's place giving her tuition.
so i'm chao keng-ing while she's doing her sums.

well, you can say i'm pretty looking forward to the pulau hantu sailing expedition. i'm rather disheartened though that the juniors, well not all but some, are fading off. some have even become uncontactable. i guess it's still a blessing that some are still very on-the-ball, very enthusiastic and wanting to make things happen as well. kudos to you guys.

training today was jinxed. i din even get a chance to sail properly. my boat just fell apart lah. while launching, i capsized cos i couldnt put the daggerboard in. then my rudder refused to go down. and then my tiller extension come off. when i was already panting so hard, and finally catching my breath, my downhaul snapped. how unlucky. that's not it folks. i continued sailing... upon reaching the downwind mark, wanting to go upwind, my outhaul snapped! wah that was the end of my training lah! i had to get andrew goh to tow me back to shore. dangs. wasted. the winds today were good. but i was quite shag lah. oh wells. suay day.

baby's coming to pick me up after this! yayy! miss that boy. heh. i'm like gonna stay over at his place for quite some time this week. hehe. cos can go to school with him in the morning. and that piggy and russle me out of bed. or else i'll just continue to sleep like a PIG. yes. big fat LAZY pig. heh.

events to this week:

training @ PM tmr.
Level 1 test on Monday
Tuesday and Wednesday, PPCDL in school
in the meantime juniors will be doing a lot of other work for the hantu trip
Thursday, painting of mega snakes and ladders and meetings
Friday, preparation for Hantu trip, staying over at PM
Sat-Sunday: Pulau Hantu Sailing Expedition!

YAYY!

yayy!

2007-09-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

im a very happy girl...
my laptop just arrived yesterday.
and i got a big surprise too!
i've gotten a new camera!
it's no cheap/useless camera!
it's the new olympus flipside camera! WOOOT
many thanks to my aunt.

was helping my darling do his assignment today. took some naps and binged like crazy on the lovely food his mom made for us. it's no wonder why i'm getting so fat. i'm fed like a princess. anyhows, babes left for school at about 5odd. hung around his place, talked to his mom and watched her cook. had bee hoon for dinner and oh it was delicious.

at about 730, went out with him mom, brother and cousin to bugis. kelvin wanted to buy some stuff. but in the end, he bought nothing. and i ended up buying something! hahahas. :)

his dad came to pick us up from bugis and then headed to toa payoh lorong 8 for foood. yes. food again. his mom was craving for satay and well, we decided to have kway chap. however, we were not in luck. both the kway chap and satay stall decided to go on strike! no.. they were just not open for business.

so the unlucky us decided to go to jalan kayu for PRATA! yea... i was kinda craving it. heh. his mom wanted to go eat prata too. but she was paiseh cos today din even eat rice at all. hahas. cute lah she..

i am so well fed, i am getting so fat! baby's so jealous cos he couldnt join us. but im sure your mom's bee hoon is still the best eh? *winks.

im so tired. gonna turn in soon. ciaos.

a good break

2007-09-03T12:22:00.000+08:00

COMEX is over!
hahas. painful feet can peacefully rest...

this is my only good break before 2 weeks of exciting events. This wed will be conducting water training for the year 1s in lieu of their level 1 test. on the 10th will be their level 1 test, 11-12th will be the PPCDL course, 14th will be preparation for the Pulau Hantu Expedition. 15-16th is the expedition itself, 18th, PPCDL and 20-21 - LEVEL 2! wooots.

and then schools starts after that weekend.

it'll fly by so fast i'd hardly have 6 winks.

anyhows, comex was alright. had some fun, some sales and some laughter. made new friends too of cos! and the highlight! A NEW LAPTOP! yayyy! thanks daddy! though you're so evil, not wanting to pick me up from baby's. =(

if you're wondering. yes, im at jun khee's place while he's at work and only his dad's around, asleep. hahas. his brother and mother has left the house and his mom even asked me along to his grandma's place which i declined in hope of my dad picking me up... but only to my dismay.

probably visiting my grandma in hospital with baby after his work. yes. she got admitted because of breathlessness... and i havent visited her since she got admitted on saturday. poor mama...

*yawns. jk's place makes me sleeeeeepy.

it's over!

2007-08-24T13:47:00.000+08:00

exams? OVER!
omg...
you cannot sense that amount of satisfaction i felt right after i handed in my answer script. I practically heaved a sigh of relief. the sleepless nights, immense studying and intense stress is FINALLY OVER. and welcome to an eventful holidays which i think i've packed myself fully with activities i will hardly have any spare time. hahahas. holidays? my kinda of holiday. :)

FUNFUNFUN! i havent had a month's holiday since like a year ago ok. due to itp the previous holiday. oh wells. i'm gonna have big ball of fun!

mel's coming over in a bit to bake cheese cake! yeah. we're the master chefs. hahas. we'll be baking one in celebration of joo ting's birthday which was on the 15th of august for the gathering tomorrow. hahahas. we'll put in some rat poison no worries. *winks.

oh yea, my papers were fairly ok. some were a lil tough and some were just... common sense. yeap. i think i fared pretty well. haha. we'll see when the results come la. i can only speculate for now. heh.

alrighties. off to do some work and catch some shut eye. i went without sleep last night! tossed and turn and tried to get like 2 hours of sleep but i got none. BOOHOO. cheerios.

MUGGAHOLIC

2007-08-21T14:41:00.000+08:00

motivation... low.
esteem... HIGH.
drive... low.
fun? NO.

alright. so i figured i'll just be stuck in the viscious cycle of eating and sleeping and watching tv if i continue to stay home. Unless i either get my cousin over to study, which i pity him cos he's been doing that heaps last week... So i figured i'll get out of the house. HAHAS. yeap. now.. to somewhere FAR. and that's mel's place in sembawang. HAHAS.

well, it's like killing two birds with a stone. she's low on motivation and so am i. and we've got heaps to study! hahas. so we'll probably be pushing each other on. :) that sounds great.

i've been quite odd lately. i just feel like being alone. like really, not doing much, watching more tv(i think i'm addicted, i can always find programs to watch). oh yes, i forgot to mention... discovery channel's like on the top of my list for favourate channels. YES! it's so darn interesting and intriguing. i just can't get off the TV. BADDD girl. =x

alrighties. i'm not that odd. don't stay away from me! i want to go out with all you peeps. yes, EVERYONE.. if possible. *winks.

can't wait for the dreaded exams to be over... and then the gathering!! whoopies! and then first aid course, and then PPCDL and then hantu trip! omg. so exciting! hahas. my holidays are PACKED once again. yayy!!! oh and somehow, i just cant wait for my results! heh heh.

rawr

2007-08-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

exams!
eeeeks!
yes. it's like the sound you make on the chalkboard with your fingers. uh-hurms. i've been doing heaps of reflections and reading up people's blogs. i just noticed how shallow singaporean youths are.

believing in dreams and being enthusiastic and motivated about something is the best thing in the world. because, when you believe in something, see your future and work towards it, that's the ONLY way to realise your dreams. It's a pity that heaps of people these days have NO DREAMS. and they think that whatever dreams you have, like owning a big car and big house and earning truckloads of money is NOT PRACTICAL. OH-SO-CHILDISH. no wait. OH-SO-SINGAPOREAN.

based on the tonnes of reading i've done. it's those people who BELIEVED IN THEMSELVES, THEIR DREAMS AND WORKED FOR IT, are the ones who strike it BIG AND RICH. and not those pathetic souls who think that those people are simply non-practical, non-realistic. OH-HOW-BALLISATIC.

now... i kinda got worked up because I am an ultimate believer in realising your dreams through motivation, enthusiam, belief and HARD WORK. yeap. to strike it big, you firstly need a dream. so KUDOS to all those of you who have dreams. and when i mean dreams, i mean BIG dreams. and secondly, CONGRATS to those who BELIEVE in their dreams. thirdly, WELL DONE to those who have short-term goals and have plans to achieve their goals. you're on the right track.

and for those pathetic souls who haven't had any of these, it's about time brother.

that's some bitching before the studying. :) 2 more papers. and yes, how sad. i've been drained of motivation, but i'll pump myself up some way. just you see. *winks.

ok loves, i've gotta get going. have fun! with studying and achieveing your dreams.

peeps of my yesterday, you'll always be in my heart. i YEARN to meet you guys soon. so holla at me.

finally!

2007-08-18T14:42:00.000+08:00

yessa!
i've finally got down to giving this blog a makeover.
kinda satisfied.
i love that girl! ain't she cute?
hahas.

exams are currently on.
i think i'm doing alright.
so much better than before.
*pats myself on the back.
i think i needed that.
hahahas. i've been hardworking
oh yes i have been.

alrighties. so that's 2 papers down.
and 2 more to go.
will be have a sailing gathering on the 25th.
i end my papers on the 24th.
well i started on the 13th and end on the 24th
that's the FULL LENGTH of the exam period.
sucks but on the brighter side, i get more time to study!
wooohooo! :)

28th-30th aug, first aid course
31st-2nd sept, COMEX! MOOLAH!
11th-13th sept, PPCDL
15th-16 sept, pulau hantu expedition

ooohlahlah!
my holidys are packed!
hiekhiekhiek.

my poor baby's so tired at work.
hahas. it's ok baby!
we'll enjoy later!
*winkwinks!

oh yes,
happy BELATED birthday to...
JOOTING!
SHUPING! (all the -ing(s))

and CONGRATULATIONS!
to my cousin ABEL!
for getting through 2 interviews..
to become a CADET PILOT for SIA!
well done cuzzie,
you've done us PROUD! *winks.

stop sign

2007-07-16T11:57:00.000+08:00

this is rather interesting...

i chanced upon it after having a dream last night that i was in russia (with australian friends) and saw this stop sign. however, it was different from the real thing. and while i was looking at the russian stop sign, i just browsed thru the other countries and came across this. This is the stop sign in TURKEY. cute huh? ;)

i'm so busy preparing for the Handover Ceremony and all my projects and stuff. i'm going bonkas.

and i really had a hard knock on my hit yesterday, LITERALLY. was at PM. Chee Leng had just injured her leg at the floating pontoon and well, the smart me walked into the toilet, looking at the mirror while continuing to walk straight, bumped right into the wall with a loud THUD. so that was how hard... my teeth vibrated. hahahas.

silly me.

wasted

2007-07-10T10:51:00.000+08:00

i feel so wasted.
after all the effort put in.
is it even appreciated?
so many a times i feel like giving up.
but i thought about the effort i've put in the past year..
coupled with the efforts of the alumni.
i cannot just give up on the club.

even if it's in a mess.
i need to do something about it.
i want it to carry on.
just like how we did it last year.
4 of us was all it took.
we did it...

but why now when the number doubles,
everything seems to crumble?
taking it for granted?
too many people, too little things?
it's all in the mentality people.
you think the club will exist just like that.
it takes two hands to clap.
to enjoy, you need to work for it.
it doesnt just happen at the snap of your fingers.

i wish people will wake up and realise.
that how they enjoyed,
was the hard work of their seniors.
the sleepless nights,
the last nights in school preparing...
discussing... fighting... arguing...
and slogging so hard to make it happen.
i dont wish to compare but i can't help it.
just a little more effort..
i'll be satisfied.
just a lil more passion...

i'm really tired.
but please....
just think maturely please.
no point for me to fight so hard for things to happen.
but there's no one there to support me.
i'm really very very tired already.

lazy

2007-07-04T10:47:00.000+08:00

i've been so caught up and lazy to blog.
also because i don't know what to blog again.

life's been fine...
one day at a time...
new lessons and stuff.

alright, maybe i shall talk about the mount ophir trip.
it wasn't successful.
however, a good lesson learnt.
we prepared well for the trip...
buying all the stuff and reading up on the place...
and on the day we set off,
we were all in high moods.
happy, excited and exhilerated.

the journey there was fun.
though many of us were tired.
waking up at 5am in the morning was no kid..
when you get to bed at like 12am or 1am.

alright, to cut the story short,
when we got there,
we received some AMAZING news.
the guard at the entrance of the resort asked us..
"You going camping?"
we replied "Ya"
"I've got a letter from taman negara, no camping."
"HUH?!"
"I show you the letter"
we scrambled into his little boxed office,
"There... No camping until further notice"
"what about day trip?"
"Day trip can"
"Phew, then not so bad la. we stay over in the cabins then tmr we climb"
"You go in and look for the ranger"
"OK.. thank you"

so we walked all the way in,
till the foot of the mountain,
where the ranger was...
"NO climbing or camping activities"
WTF?!
YES, we could not even make a day trip.
the most we could do?
take a photo at the foot of the water,
where the water from the waterfall streamed down.
what luck.

so we started thinking of where to go on our limited budget.
thought of going to KL, but doubt we'd have the moolah.
so we decided on malacca.
walked out to the main road, a 1km walk
(yes, we walked in for 1km)
and then waited for the bus by the road side.
took us to tangkak, saying we'll get a bus from there to malacca.
but guess what? YES, to our dismay.
no bus there....
only buses to KL and JB.
uggh. frustrated, we took a bus back to JB...
had a good dinner..
and then returned back to singapore at night..
after some walking at city square.

how fun eh?
hahahas. but you learn a lot.
remember to call to check if you can climb.
saves you money, time and the trouble.

im in school right now btw...
just went to poly marina to do the MPA inspection of the lasers.
had to paste the boat no. sticker.
and! i left my food there! :(
my ai xin zao can from my mom.
now i need to spend money on food.
thought i could save some bucks.

i'm gonna stop here.
byeeeeee.

birthday celebration

2007-06-12T19:55:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, as i've decided last year that i wont be having party this year, i'm sticking by my words since i'm dead broke as well.

however, i've been itching to play mahjong for a long while now and so i'm organising a mahjong cum cards night at my place TOMORROW, 13th of June at 8pm. All of you are invited. please confirm with me your attendance before coming though. cos i need to prepare some snacks and drinks and how many tables we will be needing. (for those who know how and wish to play mahjong)

this is a chance for us to gather especially those of you whom i've not met for some time now.

:) hope to see you guys.

xoxo,
mary ann

memories

2007-06-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

it was great to spend quality time with Val.
i wasnt a very good host the other time round.
and i promised to be a good host this time.
and i think i did a pretty good job.
the both of us went crazy and had fun. ;)
although we didn't fulfill some activities.

we've yet to go to KL or Bali...
we didnt have a food night.
and we still havent gone to MOS!
what a waste. but it's ok.
that just means she's gotta come back again.

and so...
i'm planning to visit her sometime next year.
yeap. perhaps during the fall!
snowboarding at lake tahoe! yeahh.
im missing her so much already!

we had such an immense talk the night before she left.
we were supposed to go to zouk.
i decided not to cos i was tired..
and i had an early class the next day.
so i thought i'd go over and hang out with her before she leaves.
we ended up talking for 2 hrs...
and it was like anything and everything under the sun.
we seriously could talk sense and understand each other.
COUSIN POWER. *winkwink.

i miss you heaps val.
come back soon.
i'll go over for in-n-outs and house of bagels!
you come back for roti prata and toast box! hahas.

and my dearest baby boy...
i'll always love you...
*huggies.

sick and tired.

2007-06-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

looking at it just puts me in disgust.
i've lost the vibe..
that energy that makes me wanna make things better.
i've lost it.
it's not like before...
i'd do anything and everything to put things right.
i'd go nights without sleep planning things...
i'd be up and about doing things.
now, the further i am from it, the better.
truthfully, now i appreciate the past.
complains no doubt.
but it was much better before.
at least we had discipline..
we had commitment...
and we had the energy.
now?
ha. i dare not comment.

maybe its the maturity...
but i won't make guesses.

i've gotta find my enthusiastic self again.
really. i've lost it man.
i'm so disinterested these days.
=/ not good. siggh.
gotta pick myself up.

anyways,
val's leaving soon. :(
i'm gonna miss her.
had so much fun with her.
2 weeks passed so quickly!!!
nevermind...
next winter i'm going over!
and i'm gonna celebrate christmas with her!
yayy. 2009 winter!

alrights. cheerios.

unhealthy

2007-05-31T23:40:00.000+08:00

ulcers.
sore muscles.
a tyre around my belly.
hmmm...
they spell unhealthy.

i need some exercise.
i feel so lazy.
gosh.

but anyhows,
i've been happy!
hahahas.
cousin's in town.
been hanging out with her.
going crazy, having fun.
baby met her too! heh.
we all had fun together.

i'm tired now.
won't blog the details.
but i'm sooo happy!
cos i've got the RED ipod nano!
YAYYY!
thanks val. i love you for it.
oh yea. and tony too thanks!
my two cousins got it for my birthday...
knowing that i wanted it badly..
and i cant get the red one in singapore
heh. love you guys
MUACK.

FYP!

2007-05-24T01:39:00.000+08:00

omg. i just finished my industry analysis for BD!
KILLER.
but i'm glad it's done.
phew. one more load off my shoulder.
jase's helping me edit!
hahahas. i swear my english stinks.
it's deteriorated heaps!
need to start reading more.

anyhows,
went swimming in the evening with babes.
it was embarrassing? hahas.
but it was alright. :)
enjoyed myself la.

baby's complaining!!!
that i've got eye bags.
ok i'll try sleeping earlier k?
;) bleahhs.

yayy! mel's coming over tmr!
that means cheesecake session!
hahas.
and i'm cooking dinner.
daddy may be home for dinner.
*winkwinks
he came into my room just now.
asked me to cook the expensive beef.
weeet! we're feasting tmr.
your fate for dinner lies in my HANDS.
muahahahas.

a mini drinking for the ladies tmr.
but still not sure if xinni's coming over.
it may end up with me and mel.
but that's fine.
probably some cocktails/wine? heh.
BABE! MY DAD'S GONNA BE HOME!
THAT MEANS WINE = CONFIRMED/CHOPPED!

yayy!
me love.
baby may come over!
i love that boy.
heh. he's my piggg! <3

ok. cheerios for the night.
i'm tired.

baby's back.

2007-05-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

yayy! my silly boy's back.
heh. i was so happy when he called me.
i was still on the way to the airport.
but oh wells.
he reached safely luhh.

waited quite awhile for him to come out.
i so swear...
absence makes the heart grow fonder.
:) spent the night with him.

he sent me home at bout 2.
and he went off to his gramps.
and then we arranged to meet for tunch.
BAK CHOK MEE!
at serangoon central.

i called him after i showered.
and was telling him where to meet me and all.
HAHAS.
and guess what?
i turned arount to look who was coming into my room.
and there stood the silly boy.
awww.... so sweet luh.
he wanted to surprise me.
i love that boy. :D

had our BCM,
then came back.
watched a movie.
hung out a bit and he went home.
then i just lazed around..
watched tv with me mom.
and here i am.
simple sunday...
which i hardly get.
but i'm not complaining.

baby's seeing a doc now.
he's having a nasty headache.
oh wells, don't blame you.
you need the rest after a not-so-relaxing holiday.
hahas. all that walking and shopping.
you deserve a good rest!

babes, I LOVE YOU.
very very much. *smuacks. <3

yayy!

2007-05-18T12:43:00.000+08:00

yes! gbe forum presentation is over.
one load off my shoulder.
there's still the report though.

kris called me yesterday while i was in hougang.
and she was outside my house la.
sorry babe couldnt be there to entertain you.
i miss you too!

i baked strawberry muffins!
hahahas. :)

now in bizit library.
printing gems notes for grace.
im so nice luhh.
skipping my lunch just to do this.
tsk!

lalala.
blog again tonight.
gonna go daryl's chalet for a bit.
then go over to jk's to pass the muffins to his mom.
happy birthday aunty!
though something sad happened =/
jk's grand uncle passed away.
may you rest in peace.

that's it for now.
cheerios.

i miss you.

2007-05-17T13:25:00.000+08:00

the silly boy's away.
and i miss him like crazy.
i miss his hugs.
his assurance especially.
i just feel so motivated around him.

anyways,
school's a drag.
nothing different.

was at alex's place yesterday.
yeah. his family's cool.
kinda like mine if not better. :)
enjoyed myself though alex wasn't around.
just talking to his mom, jean and his ah ma.
oh. and his dad too. hahas.
interesting family lah.
and EJ looks so much like alex.
just the bigger version.
macam PHOTOCOPY!

and then left alex's in a hurry.
cos jean's mom came to pick her up.
i fell down la! hahas.
but it was nothing much la.
thank god i din sprain my ankle.
cabbed back.
and ahh... home sweet home.

im in the bizit library now.
dangs. STRESS.
so much work to do.
so little time. =/

oh oh. just now during gems..
was just looking thru recruit.
hahahas. so many jobs.
i went crazy looking at them lahh.
was helping that silly piggy find a job.
while we were having an ICA la.
wah laos. im damn pro. HAHAHA.

ok im going crazy.
shall stop now.
ciaos.

insecurities

2007-05-15T22:36:00.000+08:00

i guess in a certain juncture in life,
we face insecurities..
particularly in teenhood.

i think im facing it now.
like.. i think i'm FAT.
i so need to lose weight.
i don't feel attractive.
and i just feel terrible.
like i've the worst attitude & character.
i don't feel like the smartest.
i don't feel like i'm a good student.
(well duh. i suck as a student)
i dont know really.

but anyhows,
i really lead a simple, happy life.
and of cos, chase my dreams.
cos that will bring about the happiness part.

i'm supposedly a rather confident person.
i do not lack self esteem.
but i'm not too sure now.
maybe because of things that happened.
i'm just so not sure of myself.
i don't know where i'm headed..
and probably, i don't know how to make things right.
i feel useless sometimes truthfully.
accks.

i hate this feeling.
it's so not me.
MARY ANN! WAKE UP!
where have you gone to?

I LOVE MYSELF.
YES I DO.
I HAVE TO.
I MUST.

mama's day

2007-05-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

didnt have dinner last night.
so yea, went to have dinner just now.
turf city!

OMG.
the seafood was OH SO GOOD.
and frigging cheap too.
we had a friggin HUGE CANADIAN CRAB
a damn expensive GEODUCK CLAM
an explosive GAROUPA
and some veggie.
result of it, PERFECT.
grandma loved it.
and we all enjoyed ourselves.

i think my grandma was extemely happy.
i mean, I DROVE HER HOME LA.
hahahahas.
as usual, my mom's heart was in her mouth
achievement for the day:
I PARKED THE CAR PROPERLY IN THE DRIVEWAY
mind you, those of you who HAVENT been to my house.
my gate to the driveway is SLANTED...
making it damn difficult to park.
i did it PERFECTLY
woot.

i'm at the silly boy's place.
and he's dozing off la.
he's going to bangkok tmr.
so happy lah.
pang seh me...
im gonna miss him.

LALALA.
im just taking life easy.
cant wait for the 25th of may. :)

funny joke.

2007-05-12T23:41:00.000+08:00

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? (anyone)

Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

PARKWAY!

2007-05-10T23:05:00.000+08:00

i miss that place.
i just got back from there.
was with nisa...

the good ol' times.
i miss them.
just slacking at parkway,
starbucks, macs, pool.

oh...
before nis came,
i walked around parkway.
bought some hair accessories..
then then bought toilettries at watsons.
I SPENT $54 there.
well that's cos i bought bulk. :)
and then bought a book at mph..
cos i thought i'd wait at starbucks and read.
but i just sat outside mph...
read a lil..
and then headed to macs to wait for nis.
(i din wanna waste money)
cos i knew we'd go there after dinner.

got a place at macs and waited 5mins?
until that lil bitch came.
hahas. had dinner, chat a lil.
and YES, over to starbucks.
wanted to call haqeem down..
cos i din see him there.
BUT i lost him number, and so did nis.
however, nis managed to ask one of the staff there.
oh he works at parkway's starbucks.
and guess what? we got his no.
silly nis thought she got the number mixed up.
so she tried calling the other number,
while i called one.

I GOT THE RIGHT ONE.
even though he din answer.
he called back.
asked him if he wanted to come down.
but it was a bit late.
so yeah. he didnt.
and that good boy wanted to do his hw.
OMG. he's in DNS in SP!
hahahahas. i saw him during CCA drive.
HEH.

after which,
nis and i went over to play POOL!
we were just playing for sake
of rekindling the good ol' feeling...
played like 3 rounds?
and we couldn't play for nuts.
i was far worse than her though...
and then we left.

nis,
remember the times we didnt care about time?
it's like how late are we leaving?
now it's WE WANT TO GO HOME.
that's how we've changed man.

I MISS PARKWAY.
I MISS THE EAST!
I WANNA LIVE IN THE EAST!
heh.

appreciative

2007-05-10T12:50:00.000+08:00

the episode that just started 3 weeks ago...
had taught me several things.

looking around me,
i feel so appreciative.
seriously, i'm frigging FORTUNATE.

my family.
i've the most jovial family around.
one that cracks joke at the WEIRDEST times.
tolerates all kinds of nonsense.
we talk like we're friends,
and we hang out LIKE friends.
my parents are really lenient,
and will NEVER stop me from staying out late.
basically, they never restrict me from what i want to do.
EXCEPT,
during my sec sch days,
when i did poorly for exams, (that means Cs)
and it was the exam period.
even then, my curfew was 12am. HA.

my mom,
she's a beauty.
she's so warm, loving and understanding.
i just love her to bits.
she's like my best friend.
she's always there when i need her,
and she does the sweetest things for me.

my dad,
he's always the advisor.
he will never stop me from doing things...
but he will give me his piece of advice.
whether or not i heed it,
it's all up to me.
thanks for making me independent.
and thanks for the indefinite trust.

my bros,
rascals as ever,
but i know they love me in their own way..
they'd keep me company when i'm down..
and they'll bother to find out what's wrong.
we hang out together sometimes,
and poke fun at each other.
ahhh... what would life be without them
ultimate boredom i assume.

my friends,
my TRUE friends...
i may neglect them,
but they never ever complain.
they'll always be there for me.
thanks guys.
you've made me realise i'm so LUCKY.

i shall stop here.
gotta go for tutorial discussion.
but really,
i think im darn L-U-C-K-Y.
weeeeeeeee.

fantabulous

2007-05-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

jean! you were right.
mom, you too.

when it's time to let go,
just do so...
for when it's yours,
it will return to you.
if not, god will find means to make you happy.

when god puts you to the test,
he will take you thru it.
he will never leave you in the lurch.

thanks everyone..
who have been there for me.
during this trying period of mine.
it was hella tough.
but i've emerge a stronger person.
i'm still learning...
but i'll strive.
and i'll put in the effort.
thanks.

i've learnt to be thankful.
to be satisfied.
to accomodate...
put others before self.
think how others feel...
this was a good thing.
a blessing in disguise indeed.

because...
i've learnt so many lessons.
and i'm glad they happened now than later.
at least i wouldn't suffer more in future.

YAYY!
*jumps high!

a great time

2007-05-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

a much contemplated outing.
to go or not to go?
and when decided,
the anticipation could kill.
would it be awkward?
how would it feel?

but the result of it?
awesome.

one that remains deep in the heart.
so simple an outing,
but it was terribly enjoyable.
it was all worth it.
thank you.
i had a great time.
and i was smiling most of the times.

spiderman was good.
i don't know why others said it wasn't.
i loved it.
every moment of it.
so meaningful...

im a happy girl tonight.
thanks, once again.
you made my day,
yet again.

moving on...

2007-05-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

it's sad that things have to end this way.
it was lovely before.
but i guess it's fate things had to end.

no doubt it is difficult to face it,
but that's probably our test in life.
an obstacle we have to deal with.
fate probably brought this upon us.

however, looking back..
though it was just a year,
it was a splendid year.
and i thank god for it.

he brought to me a special person.
someone who took care of me,
someone who took great pains to satisfy me.
someone who always cheered me up.
someone who was there for me no matter what.
someone who never gave up on me.
someone who encouraged me all the way.
someone who helped me through the difficult times.
someone who stood up for me.
someone who protected me.
someone who regarded my family like his.
i thank god and i thank you.

you taught me great lessons,
and you helped me through it all.
you stood by me regardless of situations.
you stuck to your words.
i faltered again and again.
and we both made mistakes.
it's sad you have to leave.
and it's sad we can't work out the differences.

who knows what the future will bring.
maybe this break would help us along.
maybe we may meet again.
maybe we'll find someone better.
who knows?let's wait and find out.

for now,
i've to learn to let go.
and learn to accept things as they come.
i've to pull myself together.
and just be thankful for what happened.
who knows? it may be a blessing in disguise.

with me,
i take these wonderful memories.
and they will never be forgotten.
for in my heart,
is carved a picture of you.
and in my heart you will stay,
in that very special place.
no one can replace you.
thanks, once again.

you were my love, and will always be.
for in love two may unite,
but for unconditional love,
it shall not be selfish...
and it's others before self...

excrutiating

2007-05-04T23:33:00.001+08:00

the pain is excrutiating..
from about 5pm all thru 9pm.
the pain has not gone away.
gosh.

the doctor said it was probably
coughing too much.
i don't know.
unless it's the imflammation,
of the lymphatic cells...
lining the small intestines.
i've no idea.

i just want the pain to go away.
sigh.

shower a bit more love on me.
i too need encouragement.
there's only so much a person can take.
i'm not a super human.
i'm but a normal human being.
yeap.

i miss you.

poof

2007-05-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

FO camp has passed.
how fast eh?
i was a spoil sport lah.
i wasn't myself.
being all emo and shit.
im sorry guys.

it ended off pretty well.
with a good response?
hahas. i suppose.
good job guys.
could be better though.
too bad i din have a chance to mingle much.
only on the first night.

sentosa outing on saturday perhaps?
we'll see how it goes.

i've been really stressed.
and im sick.
ugggh.
feverish and cold.
it stinks!
mary!!! you passed it to me lah.
hahahas.

well being sick and sad doesn't go well.
makes you feel TERRIBLE.
but i'll get over it.
things have been MUCH better.
and i miss someone so badly.

endure....
i'll pull thru everything.
i MUST!

SPSYC rawks.
i love you guys really.
thanks for always putting a smile to my face.

can someone buy me donuts?
make me happy!!!

labour day

2007-05-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

labour day?
then why do people still have to go to work?
these people dont deserve just 1.5 of their pay.
probably triple!

why call it labour day?
when people still have to work?
total LAME-ness.

everyone should take a break.
close the shops!
hit the outdoors.
have some fun in nature.
gosh. get a life singaporeans.

im sick.
=((
my throat is terrible.
my nose is a bitch.
and my head's not doing me justice.
i need my bed.

wild hogs was hilarious.
recommended!!

emotionally,
i'll pulling myself together.
and things have improved.
im happy-er.

<3<3<3LOVE<3<3<3

pinch-ed

2007-04-26T12:29:00.000+08:00

i feel pinched.
wits end?
not sure.

i'm in the bizit library right now.
was supposed to see mr kwok.
but decided not to.
for an hour's break..
and the considerable walk.
nahhs.

i've got a discussion here later on.
so i'd rather prepare more for it.

i'm getting a wee bit more focused on work.
but my mind's caught up somewhere else.
i lug a heavy heart around.
but i have to remain strong.
sigh.

FO camp...
how would it turn out?
we're sleeping in tents?
a total different experience altogether.
blarggghs.

i just wanna go home.
and sleep away my troubles.
sigggh.

my poor tummy's not doing well as well.
and my poor expressions?
takes a whole lot to put a smile i guess?

bring me back my sunshine.

=/

2007-04-25T23:01:00.000+08:00

i dont know what to say....
but being alone kills.

anyhows,
slept in today.
because it's wednesday!
and i've no school.

slept so much i skipped lunch.
woke up and rushed to school.
sat thru the meeting.
went a lil crazy in the clubroom.
my sailors keep me happy...
thanks for putting a smile on my face.
hahas.

FO camp's coming up.
bittersweet feelings.
oh wells. let's see how it goes.
one step at a time...

i'm trying to pull myself together.
it hurts to be alone in class.
like i've no friends..
but i wanna do well.
and i'm gonna strive.

bing bang boom!
i hope my life doesnt go crashing down...

CRAMPS!

2007-04-24T10:49:00.000+08:00

im in school right now.
feeling so satisfied with myself.
i actually did my IAF tutorial.
hahas. feeling proud for myself.
gotta keep it up. ;)

im in the lab right now.
and im suffering so bad.
cramps and gastric at the same time.
how'd that suck?
=/ oh wells.

just slacking here before lecture.
cos why? i've no one to go off with anyway.
sigh...
lonesome school days.
how'd that suck?
but nevermind.
just one more year... and i'm outta here.

there's PT later today.
i hope people turn up.
but if they don't, i don't blame them.
i informed them last minute.
i think i need ginko biloba!!!
my memory's failing.

anyhows...
i think i should stop here.

i miss you...

changi regatta

2007-04-22T21:20:00.000+08:00

well done SP sailors. all of you did well.
especially zhen hao and shane.
you guys met your expectations.
and the radial sailors,
you guys did exceptionally well for first timers.
keep up the good work.

i'm really proud of all of you.
i'm damn shagged.
i'm rather disappointed with myself.
probably cos of the lack of mood,
the stupid conditions,
and my fuckin' weight...
that probably slowed my boat down a mil.
anyhows, well done mel!
3rd for radial ladies...
but not so lucky next time..
gonna beat you! hahas.

im feeling really moody.
stuff in my mind...
so many things to settle.
i don't know where to start.
i'm all built up emotionally.
no idea how to handle it.
but anyhows, i'll survive.

gotta turn in early.
muscles aching terribly.
too bad we din snap a pic of all of us who raced.
but anyways, we'll have many more opportunities.

it really felt great to have a strong team for a regatta.
GO SP SAILING!

bleed

2007-04-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

yes. i am depressed.
i can't help but think of it.
when im out,
i still think..
and i just feel like going home.

when im home,
i just feel darn emo.
and i just break down.

why did it turn out like that?
why do people bicker?
all those smelly mouths.
they don't just stink, they cause harm.

sigh.
thanks jon.
you were there for me.
you offered advice...
and you kinda psyched me out.
it's all about me fending for myself now.
no one can help me..
but it's just so difficult.
especially when it's haunting.

this and many other things married together.
it just kills the spirit in me,
drowns my soul,
and takes my breath away.
i feel so lifeless.
i feel like running away.
i so need a break.
but things just keep streaming in.
and im so suffocating.

take me to a faraway place.
give me a breather please.
stop giving me such a hard time.
im a girl after all.
i may be strong but not that strong.
i still have a heart (a rather weak one)
and i do sucuumb to crying.

arghs.
fuck this world and all its miseries.

trashed

2007-04-16T22:34:00.000+08:00

when i thought it was going well....
you shattered me...

i'm so vulnerable...
too serious too soon.
arghs
i hate myself lah.

don't ask me what.
i just feel so alone.
and probably just let me be alone.

end of attachment

2007-04-15T12:48:00.000+08:00

and so my attachment has ended.
my time in moove media was GREAT.
loved every bit of it.
especially all of the bitching...
HAHAHAS.
but really, i've learnt heaps.
it was really a wonderful time..

the night before,
i stayed up till bout 2am..
preparing the gifts for all of them.
was doing this gift tag...
cutting and pasting.
phew.
tedious man.

then the next morning,
jielong and i went like 1/2 hour earlier.
and we were tying the gift tags with gold string.
then we went to put the gifts on their tables.
everyone got something.
so that would have been like 42 people i think?

all the sales people got chocolates,
and a lil soft toy.
that includes the finance and traffic peeps,
plus the production and taxi side.
and for mrs kwek and valerie,
they got the chocolate and 2 doggies.
rach and lucy got the same,
but just an extra SUNFLOWER.
they were so happy i tell you...
and it was WORTH IT.

so our colleagues decided to treat us to BOTAK JONES.
we had that for lunch at toa payoh north.
and we wiped them off man.
300gms of RIBEYE STEAK.
omg. i was so bloated.
and it was not bad after all.
hahahas. ;)

and that night.
hahahahas.
xinni... you were so high.
and yes you did say stuff you didn't have to.
but it's all over.
we had a ball of a time.
even though it was just..
me, jk, jooting, marc, xinni and zhen hao.
i bet we still had heaps of fun..
especially with the drinking game.
just one round was enough to get some of you DAMN HIGH.
XINNI! CAI QUAN! ;)

oh yes.
and my phone has DIED.
it pronounced dead on friday.
i've sent it for repair.
so right now, i'm just using a back up phone.
please leave your name when you msg,
or tell me who you are when you call.
cos i'd have no idea.
all my contacts are in that phone.
accks.

alrighties for now.
i just came back from a swim.
i think i swam 20 laps.
and im tired.
OMG. i'm so unfit.
and to think i'm going for a regatta next week.
i hope i'll be still alive when i recover.
MUAAHHAHAS.
cheerios for now,
school starts tomorrow.
yayy!

LAUGHING FRIDAYS.
I SO CAN'T WAIT!

moove media

2007-04-10T20:24:00.000+08:00

it's been great working here.
i love the culture,
i love the people,
i love the environment.
AND I LOVE THE OFFICE.
it's really colourful and bright.
LOOOOVE IT.

this is my last week there.
treasuring every minute of it.
returning next week to help a bit..
and also to join in the party,
that we've all worked hard for.
YAYY!

gotta start cracking my heads on what to get for them.
they've helped me so much in many ways.
to WAKE UP for one,
and to realise many other things for two,
and for me to grow as an individual for three.
ESPCIALLY LUCY.
she has constantly been keeping me going,
motivating and helping me in many ways.
she's like my mother at work...
and then there's VAL,
with her constant encouragement and motivation.
and especially what she's said to me.
THANKS A MILLION.
i will remember this for life...
and take it with me wherever i go in my career.
and always remember the confidence you had in me.
i will not let you down.

lalala.
attachment period just flies man.
maybe cos i was kinda enjoying it.
and im kinda getting used to it.
i wouldnt mind continuing. heh.
MAYBE i havent seen the tough side yet.
but i'm geared up for it actually.
cant wait to come out and work..
and start my own business!
yipeeeee!

AWESOME THREESOME!
HERE I COME!
MUAHAHAHS.
i bet you guys missed me ayy?
hahas. now i'm like the mother of the "BURR"s
the "BURR"s are: xinni, grace and mel.
hahahas. DON'T MESS WITH US.
love you babes.
missed you heaps too.

and last but not least.
my baby boy!
too bad the officers in SAF are fucked up.
i can't meet him today.
but that's fine..
i can see him tomorrow anyways.
just that i'm missing me so much.
*huggies. see ya soon hunn.

goodbyes.
(yes i'm in a good mood)

oh yes wait! the sports manager of SAA, SP,
he's cute lahh. hahahas.
he's helped me heaps.
and i know mr kwok,
our next officer-in-charge,
should favour us quite a bit.
he's really supportive.
to a point we're getting full subsidy for everything.
which includes transportation and entry fees
(even though it's late)
isn't it great? HAHAS.
i'm looking forward to a great year ahead!
ALL ABOARD!

CHEERIOS.

threesome

2007-04-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

three complete idiots,
one gems class on friday,
havoc wreaks.
EEKS!

grace,
xinni,
ME.
complete chaos.

the AWESOME THREESOME!
roxor!

so i'm meeting grace in like an hour's time.
and it's so awesome.
cos i miss her! hahas.
riggght.
we're catching a movie.
and off to sch we go.
lalalala.

i can't wait for sch to start.
and i'll look forward to fridays!
YAYY!

baby's helping his mom out today.
i miss him heaps.
though i just spent the night with him.
heh. :) he's my angel.
*SMUACKS!

see you soon babes.
tonight or something k?
love ya.

you know i love you

2007-04-04T22:20:00.000+08:00

baby,
words can't describe how much i love you.
i simply wanna be by your side,
everyday of my life.

put aside our differences,
strive to avoid disagreements.
I'm sure we can make it better.
ultimately it's love that binds.

race coming up.
i'm so unfit.
get me out of lethargy.
it's weighing me down.

some people disgust me.
some just don't deserve sympathy.
chances can never be enough for them.

talk about childish,
there are so many people around who are just that.
even adults.
christ, bless me.
so much so i won't be a hypocrite.
i believe im not what i see others to be.
i hope.

been lazy to update.
so there's that for now.
lovin' my hunny bunny! =)

awkward

2007-03-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

what's wrong with my temper again?
i think i'm really moodswinging.
and my fuse blows pretty quickly.
MAYBE it's that BIG ZIT on my face.
wham bam slam! get off.
pssssssssssst.

anyhows,
it just doesn't feel the same anymore.
everything's so different.
there seems to be a psychological gap.
communication wires probably disconnected.
argghs. FIX IT FOR ME.

it gets torturous.
your patience get tested.
your tolerance is maxed out.
what should i do?

tell me why i can't seem to give in...
why is it i always want things my way...
why is it i can't accept waiting?
why is it i can't accept DISTANCE.
give me some answers PLEASE.

=/
i love you..
and i wanna love you more..
but how?

just soooo TSK

2007-03-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

arghs. PMS i think.
but it's way over.
NEVERMIND.

sorry for the tantrums.
you know i love you very much.
it simply frustrated me.

give me more attention.
i appear strong.
but i do need it sometimes.
maybe more than just sometimes.

xinni's turning 18 soon!
woohoo! clubbin' ah? hahas.
you're gonna be legal.
surprise surprise awaits. *winks.

goodnights.
i need rest. *yawns.
not a very good day.
a night of silence...

ELATION!

2007-03-21T17:54:00.000+08:00

OMG. I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!
YES!YES!YES!
i've lived up to my family's reputation -
passing our driving test in one try!
HURRAY!

my family's gonna go out for a celebration later.
but my mean daddy isn't gonna let me drive. =(
*POUTS.
i'm sure he will one day! tsk.

baby's coming along too!
heh. he's like so happy for me.
i love him to bits! *smuacks.
it's our 10th month together today.
hehe.

friday!
ktv time. hahas.
doesn't sound like me but what the heck.
they do play ENGLISH songs i'm sure.
just gonna go have fun with friends la.
xinni! don't play me out ah.

lalala. i'm so happy.
i took half day off today.
hahahas. so it's like. phewf!
i'm lovin' it.

dad's banning me from sailing..
until i go to church.
so i hafta go to church on sunday morning..
before i go for training. danngs.
nvm. kian tat's gonna cover trainings.

lalala.
i can't wait for my photocard licence to come.
my instructor is damn good lah.
babes, his bro and me all passed in one go!
anyone wants a GOOD driving instructor?
I HAVE HIS NAME CARD AND CONTACT. NO.!!
CONFIRM PASS!!! unless you're just shitty on your own.
BLEAHS...

i'm sooooooooooooo HAPPY!

fatigue

2007-03-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

omfg. the whole chunk i typed was lost.
anyways.
i'm exhausted.

now i know what it feels like when you work.
you just don't feel like going out after work.
it's no-lifer.
i've morphed into one.
fwahahahs.
but with all my added activities after work,
you can't blame me.

training camp's coming up.
sweet and sour feelings =/
but i'm pretty sure it'll still be great.
yeah. it will be...

did OT again today.
another preview.
had a chance to talk to valerie.
she goes to the same church as me.
heh. small world eh.
she's already migrated to aussie.
but her son, who so happens to be the same age as me,
is back here to do his NS.
apparantly he's a pilot in the airforce,
like father like son.

moove media is a whacky place.
believe it or not,
i kinda like working there.
kinda getting the hang of it.
fyi, it's a female working environment.
explains why bitching, gossiping and indecisiveness lingers.
mrs kwek is someone i really admire.
in fact, i aspire to be like her...
val and mrs kwek have both migrated to the place down under.
and i so envy their children.
i so love that place.
how i wished my dad moved there when i was still 8.
uggh. now i'll have to find a way myself.
nevermind, i can carve this future out for myself.

anyways, back to valerie and mrs kwek.
they are two power women..
and i see myself in them
probably why i admire then and aspire to be like them.
there are so many things i have learnt,
and am still learning from them.
and what valerie said this evening brightened up my day.
not to boast but it made me really happy.
what she said corresponded to what my dad said before.
i doubted him. but she confirmed it.
i may suck as a student.
not because i lack the brains but the interest.
when i put in my heart and soul into something i am interested in,
or something that i'm committed to,
i soar like the eagles,
even though i'm lazy...
i can put in the extra effort to achieve it.

:)
I WANNA TRAVEL!

to..

LONDON,
PARIS,
FLORIDA,
SAN FRANCISCO,
LOS ANGELES,
LAS VEGAS,
NEW YORK,
SYDNEY,
MELBOURNE,
PERTH,
BANGKOK,
SEOUL,
SHANGHAI,
TAIWAN,
HONGKONG
& MANY MORE!

take me places i wanna go!

PATIENCE

2007-03-08T22:04:00.000+08:00

what a test of my patience.
firstly, it's superiors.
they seriously test your patience.
and that fatty can go and die.
just take charge of your HR and FINANCE.
you have no relevance to what we're doing.
so get outta sight.
with your fat lard around,
we cant work cos your foul mouth stinks.
and it just obstructs our way.
grrr...

and the morale of the story,
ask if you're not sure.
cos at the end of the day,
you'll get the shits.

learnt a lot today man.
and it was totally mind draining.
downed two cans of red bull.
hahahs. i appeared so energetic.
but im mentally exhausted.

IT SHOW!
i can't wait.
extra income.
yayy!

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!

driving again on sat morning.
omg. i'm gonna be so shag at work on monday.
MONDAY BLUES. fwahaha.
wish me luck for my TP.
first day in the circuit was quite fun.
hahahs.
besides making a fool of myself,
it was quite fruitful i think. HAHA.

goodnights.
i'm beat.

im back!

2007-03-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

my com's finally fixed!
it's been a ballooney long long long time!
and guess what?
it's just the power supply that failed.
so just had to change the adaptor.
and im rollling! weeee!

UPDATES UPDATES!

first and foremost!
baby's 24th SURPRISE birthday party.
slip ups occured...
but on the whole, it was fantabulous.
it was tiring i must admit.
but the result was worth the fatigue.
spent a lot a lot a lot.
it's in the hundreds. but he deserves it lah.
mmhmm. i love him a lot! hahas.
i have to thank my parents too.
for helping with the party,
mom for cooking, dad for coming back early...
and everyone else that made it for the party.
ESPECIALLY babe's secondary sch mates.

im sure he was over the moon.
he said he almost cried.
especially when we made him make a speech.
he said nothing much cos he was trying to hold back his tears.
awww... *huggies.

training camp is coming up.
i'm looking forward to it! yayy!

hmmm...
i'm also very impressed with my sailors.
actually, not so much impressed..
but SATISFIED.
all of them's been improving heaps.
and i owe that to their commitment and hard work.
c0ngrats guys! you've proved me right.
that you guys can do it!

it show coming up!
gonna work again!
MONEY MONEY MONEY!

went for the briefing just now.
VERY LATE.
cos i was caught up at sim lim's.
met corey, she spoke to me about it.
then i walked to starbucks opp. mandarin hotel..
and met eilen! met her friends too!
hahas. funny bunch.
cant wait for work again.
she's my buddddy!
oh. she's not straight. and she's so cute!
=x whoops. nahhs im perfectly STRAIGHT.

oh yesss..
just last night.
babes and i were talkng about daryl.
and i was just thinking bout my kor.
and guess what? HE CALLED.
HE CALLED ME!!!
i was wondering who the hell called me..
and then i was like thinking. what if it was DARYL?
cos i was just thinking about him.
and IT WAS HIM.
omg omg omg...
THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.
it so so so hella EXISTS!
kor called me from a warship in malaysia.
heh. he's in the navy now.
i so miss him.
kor! come back and date me out! i miss you!!

alrights. i can't think of what else to say.
i'm rather tired and quite sick?
though i met mom after meeting eilen,
and bought HEAPS of clothing..
7 pieces for ONLY $86
YAYYY! more clothes to wear.
i feel deprived. =/ *DANGS.

alrighties. i really should get going.
though i must really admit,
i'm glued to my com.
i miss it so much.
*MUAHMUAHMUAH!

nights.

indigestion

2007-02-16T17:01:00.000+08:00

jeez. my stomach stings.
it hurts so bad.
puked a whole lot yesterday.
that's the result of overeating.

anyhows,
my itp has begun.
moove media is a pretty cool place.
they're fun.
hahas. but a lot of ladies.
lots of bitching.
and it's quite.. a perfectionist place.
the CEO is like. hot.
hahas. she's not that YOUNG hot.
but the middleaged HOT.
she dresses well basically.

oh wells.
why do i always fall sick near cny?
and where is my bf when i need him?
halfway to jb? =/
nvm.

it just seems that.
the more you need someone when you're helpless,
the more they won't be there.
so learn to be independent.
cos you can't count on others.

*yawns.
my mom's still the best.
love you mummy!

it's over!

2007-02-08T21:44:00.000+08:00

YAYYY!
the dreaded exams are over!
finished my final paper today.
and it was fine i guess.

went for PS to have lunch with liying and jean.
jean was complaining like hell..
about the HRM paper of cos.
cos she din study the 1st 3 chapters.
but she still did pretty fine. =)

we walked around carrefour a bit.
before going to meet liying on the 6th level.
we actually wanted to eat at the food court.
but ended up eating at... manhatten fish market.
my first time there. it's ok lah.
i think btw fish n co and manhatten fish market...
they're pretty much on par...
only thing is i still like.. the ambience of fish n co.
it's totally hip.

anyhows. we had so much fun.
all the bitching and catching up.
and all the cracking up too.
liying was stressed at work.
and we were happy that she enjoyed herself.
so totally relaxed and felt happy..
and that was great.

after liying went back to work.
(mind you, she spent 2 hrs with us)
she kinda got into trouble.
but not for being late though.
jean and i went to watch BABEL.
it was a hectic movie.
i would recommend this to everyone.
but not for the intellectually disabled.
and i mean those people with no brains,
are stupid or are academically weak.
cos you won't get the gist of the story.
it's only for the intelligent.
hahahahas. nahs. watch it.
it'll challenge your mind.
it's much like crash.
just that it's more cultural.
and jean loves it more.
HIGH RECOMMENDED.

left PS to gardens.
bought the tequila for $38.
i swear the uncle charged more.
oh wells. NVM. poor uncle.

rushed to bishan.
met my aunt and melissa.
did a bit of shopping. a
nd my aunt bought me bag.
yayy! kinda like it.
and then we had dinner.
sometimes it's embarrassing with my aunt around.
but that's fine.
you get used to it.
and now im back at their place.
waiting for melissa to finish showering.
before we commence tuition.
it's kinda late. but what the heck.

hahas. ok. cheerios.

oh yes. i can't wait for tmr!
party on sailors. i love you!

breather

2007-02-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

finally.. a breather.
QA paper was over.
was quite ok...
manageable i suppose.
don't think i'll ace it though.
very very unlikely.

anyhows.
finally saw my LO after the paper.
and had a good chat with teng lui.
our sentiments exactly.
we're always on the same frequency.
so yeap. we know wad to do.

went to the clubroom after.
and started studying for FM.
omg. i've been bingeing so much.
yeap. i binge a lot during exams.
i can feel the tyres expanding.
i so need a strict exercise regime for after the exams.
though i'll start my ITP right after.
damn. holidays burnt. not a good idea.
especially having had 5 papers...

anyhows....
my cousin, abel came to pick me after his class.
xinni joined us for dinner too.
went to chomps to eat.
and caught up.
and... he finally passed me the zara top he bought from denmark.
yayy! =)

and then he sent xinni and me home.
lalala. and here i am.

jean's coming over tmr morning.
that girl's fretting over FM.
she can't seem to get it.
cos obviously.. she hasn't been to lectures la.
thank god i went for some. xD

ok. that's it.
chat soon.
can't wait for friday!